Speaker 1: 0:00

You are listening to. We Woke Up Like this and I am your host, rev Joya. This is a show dedicated to embodied spiritual awakening and we love to talk about the messy magic of living a soul-led life. A true spiritual awakening is not all unicorns and rainbows and on this show we are not afraid to talk about it. Your awakened frequency is the frequency that will change the world. Enjoy the show.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Hello, beloved lights and souls, reverend Joya, with Vibology here, and I've decided that once again I'm being called to change things up, because my whole life has changed and I'm doing the work now, not even doing the work. The work is doing me now to narrow that gap within between my inner life and my outer life, because there's starting to be a mismatch there Now, because my inner alignment has changed so much that my outer world now needs to change with it. And if I don't align that gap, then my outer world is not going to reflect what's happening inside of me, this internal thing that's happening, and I think it's happening through the process of writing my book, of course, the process of my mystical grieving that I'm going through and being walked through, this very succinct and distinct process that I've been gifted from the other side that is profoundly shifting me, profoundly shifting me and who I am. And it's not changing who I am. That's the interesting thing. It's removing the masks of who I'm not is really what the work is that's being done. And my mystical side, the mystic that I am, wants more say externally, because I hold so much of my inner truth inside of me. And when I go through my journals and I've got journals and journals that are full of mystical wisdom and mystical insights that I've been downloading for years, not realizing what I had or what I was or what's coming through me. And of course now I do, because the razor's edge of the moment is where I live now, and Weston's death did that to me because it brought me so present.

Speaker 1: 2:50

When you're in survival mode, you're also living in the present, but you're living in the present from the wounded state of the ego, which makes the present moment intolerable, and you want the present moment to be anything other than it actually is. And so you adapt to the world externally to change how you're feeling internally, through alcohol, through drugs, through shopping, through sex, through you name it. There's about a million addictions out there that people can get distracted by. And then, of course, what that does is because you're changing your inner state through external means. It creates more of a disconnect inside of you and that creates an inner shame because you are in the process of inner betrayal to your own soul. And so now the reverse has happened through the process of Weston dying. That it's brought me utterly to the present moment, but without the ego there to want to distract me, and maybe because I got sober before he died. Actually, I'm sure that's a big part of it. That was part of my spiritual alignment of 2024 and all the things that happened that were spiritually preparing me for my son's death, that I had no idea that's what I was going through, only to later know that's what I was going through and I don't doubt it anymore, and I don't doubt it anymore and I don't question it anymore and I don't care if it makes me look crazy. I honestly don't. There's this narrowing that's happening inside of me that, as I'm living in this present moment, like I am right now, none of this is rehearsed. I didn't even know what I was going to talk about, which is one of the new things I'm doing on my podcast is really letting it be channeled information from source and to start sharing messages from my journals, because these are deep and they are really profound teachings in here that as I've been writing my book and going through I'm getting these incredible answers.

Speaker 1: 5:09

And so I want to talk about a process that I'm putting in my book and it just dropped in. What to talk about? This process? That's in my book about the soul wound, and I've mentioned it before on different episodes and it's called the ow. I call it the ow, the original wound, the OW. I call it the OW, the original wound, and I've been calling it that for many, many years. And this OW I realized what mine was just the other day and how it imprints our little mind and our little self to hide that we create these false beliefs of reality based on an experience that we are having, with a mind that has no experience of the world yet to base our decisions on.

Speaker 1: 5:53

And so I have this memory, my first memory. I'm about two and a half years old and I woke up laying on a couch cushion and people were having sex in the room that I was in and I knew somehow that it was wrong and that I couldn't see it because I would get in trouble if I saw it as if the seeing was the problem. And so I laid there and closed my eyes and I got a bloody nose from the stress of it, and so I got in trouble for having a bloody nose. And that taught me that it's not safe to see, it's not safe to tell the truth about what you see to others. And yet I was a seer.

Speaker 1: 6:51

I am a seer, and so I use that ability to see to manipulate my environment, because at the same time that I had this, there was also something in me that's always been very rebellious. I had this, there was also something in me that's always been very rebellious, and so, rather than not seeing and shutting my eyes and turning it inward and blaming other people, I used this power to see but to anticipate what other people are, because I can see it, and to meet that need to show up and match them energetically before they even know what they need. And so, in that way, I'm giving to control my reality through my power of seeing. So I shared this drop in that I had when I was at the speaking training in Colorado about the seeing. When I realized that that I was like, oh my gosh, I'm giving, giving, giving, giving of myself as a way to control how I'm seen. Right Poof, it's powerful. And so now I realized the deeper wound, the ow where it came from in the first place was it's not safe to be seen or to see so. But I am a seer and I can't change what I am and who I am, so I'm going to learn how to use this in a way that helps me survive in this world.

Speaker 1: 8:14

So this is how deep these wounds go, and this is how the, the ego, the conditioned self that takes over, utilizes our gifts and hijacks them. So sneaky and it's so subtle, and you don't even know it's happening, and you don't even know that this is what you're doing for the rest of your life, except for there's a pressure that builds inside of you, the pressure of your soul seeking its authentic expression in the, because that's what you came here to do. But the greater the wound, the greater the gap between the answering of that call and answering it and showing up as it. And so then we do these acts of self-betrayal that harm us, that harm our soul, that harm us internally, and the more we do this, the more in conflict we become, the more self-betrayal we're doing to ourselves, the more inner conflict we're experiencing within ourselves, the more we seek to quell that conflict on the external through alcohol, through food, through all of these ways that we have of distracting ourselves from what the real issue is, which is our soul seeking expression, because that's what our soul came here to do. So I want to share something I wrote about the ow that came through my journals while I was grieving, and this I wrote on April 20th 2025,.

Speaker 1: 9:47

I was having this conversation in my journal about grace and the power of grace, and it was with Weston, and he said I need patience with grace. This is what he was telling me, mom, you need patience with grace. This is what he was telling me, mom, you need patience with grace. And I said how? What do I need patience with? Why do I need patience with grace? And he said to become wholly a child of God. How, mom, give your soul to God. I feel like I do that. I said Give your soul to God. I feel like I do that. I said no, you feel doubt. I do feel a little doubt. I said but so how do I do this?

Speaker 1: 10:31

And he said pray for grace to come into your heart, because dying is not the end of your consciousness. So are you saying that to live a sacred life is to live a conscious life, and to be conscious is to be awake, and the only way to forgive the errors of your past actions and choices while you were asleep is through grace. Yes, grace transforms your consciousness. What is consciousness? The energy of your soul? I said, wow, your consciousness is the energy of your soul. I said, wow, your consciousness is the energy of your soul.

Speaker 1: 11:09

And he said grace descends upon you, mom. And I said I feel at times I still don't deserve it. Grace isn't earned, it's given. Mom, know that you are blessed and loved by God. Know that you are blessed and loved by God. I know I am.

Speaker 1: 11:25

I said I feel so humble I can't stop crying because I have had so much pain in my life and for some reason, I have been given grace, I have been given miracles and spiritual knowing, this mysticism that allows me to know, through gnosis, that I am so loved, that I am so loved even in the midst, no, especially in the midst of your death, of your body. I feel the depth of God's love and I feel and know that these transmissions are real and they are transforming me. This is grace. You have been given a profound gift, he said Me, and for some reason I even wrote me snotty-nosed and dripping. I know, mom, don't waste time on doubt. This is the work you came to do.

Speaker 1: 12:25

I experienced it in Bali. That did it. Why did I receive grace? Because this is your heart's purpose. Every heart wants grace, but not everyone is here to hold it and teach it. And I said what is grace? Freedom, freedom from what I asked, self-judgment. And I could feel this clenching. I remember, as I'm looking at this, I could feel this clenching that happened inside of me and it said I don't want to feel special and that also is a wound. That's also an ow, an original wound, because it came from my mom always saying who do you think you are? And Weston said as a human, you are a soul and, mom, you are known for being a Magdalene sister. And I said so. Every ow.

Speaker 1: 13:26

The original wound was what happened externally that caused the false self-judgment. Yes, all original wounds are self-judgment. He said Embody and emanate grace. All original wounds are self-judgment. And I'm sharing that exactly verbatim. Here it is in my journal. You can see my handwriting there. This is not an AI writing. This is my vulnerable heart.

Speaker 1: 13:53

I'm sharing with you in this original wound, because this is what the healing is. And this original wound is only self-judgment. It's only ourselves judging ourselves. And how do we protect ourselves from our own self-judgment? It's so tricky and it's so sneaky and it's so subtle. And it's these masks that we wear in the world to help us survive and to help us thrive without being seen and without having to heal these deep wounds. But the only healing is the release of it. Just to see it is enough, and you don't even have to see it. You can still release it through the power of trust.

Speaker 1: 14:40

As Weston said, to stop doubting and I've shared in my last episode my winning talk that came from this journal about doubt You're never not trusting something. If you're doubting, you're trusting your doubt. If you're wounded, you're trusting your wound. If you're wounded, you're trusting your wound. If you're struggling, you're trusting the struggle. I can't tell you how long I was stuck in that, which is why I understand at a deeper level now my teacher who many years ago, said the issue is not the issue. The way you relate to the issue is the issue and at the time it struck me as being really profound and really deep. But I didn't quite understand what it meant, and now I know exactly what it means. It means this and when I was in Egypt and I received that download, the only thing left to heal is your belief. There's anything left to heal Because in the going backwards and in the constant excavation of the why and where's the problem and what's the limiting belief, we create those limits we're looking for, we create those dramas we're trying to avoid.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Whatever's at the forefront of our consciousness is what we are creating, and so that inner gap, that inner gap that we all live in between our internal reality and our external reality, needs to grow narrower and narrower and narrower. This is where we walk the straight and narrow path that we don't waver anymore, and I used to be such a waverer anymore and I used to be such a waverer. There was such an internal knowing like I would have these profound, beautiful insights in meditation and in my journals. My journals are full of these kinds of beautiful insights for years, going back years. But the gap was between the inner experience that I was reflecting, that was coming through me in my writing, and how I was actually living my life, and that gap between that, the internal and the external, caused so much inner conflict and inner pain and inner wounding and inner shame and inner self betrayal.

Speaker 1: 16:53

And so this is our whole work now, as anybody who's been on this path for a while if you're on the path of the mystic, the way shower, the light worker, and now I call myself the torchbearer only because that's what came through me I'm the torchbearer dwelling at the threshold and I'm happy to do it because I've been through the fire. I've been through the fire and I've been to the fire of my soul, because that's what the death of Weston did to me was just stripped me naked and threw me straight into the freaking pit of myself. And I write about it. And that moment I remember, that moment of standing there just staring at myself, not knowing who I was anymore and really just going. What has all of this been for? What has all of this been for? All of this time, all of this money, all of this work, all of this healing, all of the seeking, all of the, all of the, all of the all of the everything externally? What has it all been for?

Speaker 1: 17:59

And it was not the point at all, but there's a super, amazing force in the universe. That is the. What do they call it in the old days? The old days, what do they call it in the new thought teachers, was the invisible substance, this invisible substance, this ether, which is known as the Ruka to Kucha force and Aramaic the Yeshua and Mary Magdalene spoke of and they worked in it, and it's known as the Holy Spirit. But it's so much more than that, and it's the active force of the creator that makes all things good in time.

Speaker 1: 18:41

Without this force, there would be not a reason that anything happened. And so I could look and be in that pit of myself that naked, stripped and go what is this all for? And I could see how everything I'd ever done, every choice I ever made, was leading right to this, that there's something guiding us beyond ourself, even when we run around. Our ego can run around like this little avatar in the game, thinking it's ruling the game, and it's simply not. Our soul is what's actually playing the game and it tries to correct us and direct us as much as it can in utilizing this force that creates things. That's the force of creation working in real time, in every moment and we can look back at our life and go, wow, if that didn't happen then this thing wouldn't have happened and that wouldn't have happened. And I know that me becoming a mindfulness trainer was such a godsend in grief, thank God, I was able to notice my thoughts and catch my thoughts and stay present. It was the whole secret of getting through those first months of grief staying present with what is and not telling a story about the past, the would have, could have, should have, why didn't I's, why didn't he?

Speaker 1: 20:04

All of those things we can't control or change, but we can change our relationship to them in the present moment and we do that through the power of our soul. We don't do it, and we do that through the power of our soul. We don't do it. We of ourselves, do nothing. There is something sacred, intangible. There's a force at work inside of all of us that we are working within as well, in our creation in the world, that is making manifest everything that we want to make manifest. We are the creators of our reality here and it's working with us. We're not the ones who make the seed grow. We can plant the seed, we can cultivate the garden, we can till the soil, we can water it, we can make sure it's got enough sunlight, we can pull the weeds, but we are not the ones who are making that seed grow. There's a force of life, there's a force of energy at work, a creative force that makes manifest all things, and it's doing it moment by moment, by moment by moment.

Speaker 1: 21:08

And so staying present is such a secret. And with healing our original wounds, with healing our ows, because when we feel that inner conflict come up now of do I speak my truth here or do I lie to keep the peace, do I just walk away from this situation that I know is wrong, or do I participate in it because that's what everybody doing? These kinds of choices happen to us all day long. Do I eat this thing even though no one's around and they can't see me shoving this big cookie in my mouth, or do I throw it away and live in integrity and alignment with what my soul wants? I could tell you, food has been the hardest one for me, and my husband laughs because he's like everything you've been through, it's like you made the easiest thing, the hardest thing, and it almost does feel like that. It's the ow of wanting to hide, wanting to make yourself feel bad, because that's your normal state inside of you, that you think you deserve that, and it's complete BS and as way showers and lightworkers and torchbearers and however.

Speaker 1: 22:27

You see yourself showing up in this world now as this world is changing and transforming and waking up and we're on the forefront of it as the mystics who have been waking up for a long time. We came here awake and then we forgot we were awake and now we're remembering as we become more true to ourselves. It's the first wavers right that we're the first ones who've been doing this work for a long time, and now you see it everywhere and it's showing up as memes on my algorithm, on Instagram, on Telegram, on all these channels and things that I'm on. It's all about spiritual awakening and the things people are talking about are becoming in the mainstream. Now are the things that we you and I have been doing years before, and we know that, because we do not live as an individual, that this illusion of separation is not correct. The number one rule from the other side is love your neighbor as yourself, and the reason for that is because there is no self and there is no other.

Speaker 1: 23:30

What I do for me, I do for the collective. What you do for you, you do for the collective. Your healing is not just for you, my healing is not just for me. And so we know that, as we've done this work, to start doing this shadow work that we've been doing for all these years, that now it makes it so much faster and easier for the next person to do it, which is why the collective starts to go faster and faster and faster and it gains momentum, which is why the collective starts to go faster and faster and faster and it gains momentum.

Speaker 1: 24:01

And it's not woo-woo, it's physics, it's resonance. We live in a field of collective consciousness which is based on our frequency, which is based on resonance, and we're radiating this frequency out into the field. And when we are coherent in ourself, that coherent frequency brings everybody into entrainment, who's around you, because they feel it too. I've watched my husband completely change and I have done nothing to force my beliefs, my practices, my anything on him. It's the power of frequency, it's the power of coherence. It's the power of frequency, it's the power of coherence, it's the power of resonance. And we do that by that alignment, by creating and walking the straight and narrow path that we are asked to walk and our ego is like, oh, you're going to have such a boring life, wrong, oh my gosh. My life is so much more meaningful now, so much more powerful now, so much more peaceful and grounded.

Speaker 1: 24:59

I love spending hours a day in meditation, and I never thought I would ever be that way, but I love it. I love it. I love praying, I love meditating, and I'm going to start sharing these messages in these talks. This is what my podcast is going to be about now, from now on, and I'm going to share this in my mail list. So anybody who doesn't want to hear this stuff and isn't on board with this stuff because, yeah, I've changed who I am and what I'm talking about and what I'm doing in the world has changed and if you don't want to follow and unsubscribe, then that's okay, I don't care, I love you. It's not a big deal. We're all on our own journey and if it doesn't resonate, that's fine. I don't want to shout into a void, and I'm also not worried about convincing people who are committed to misunderstanding what I'm saying either. I just I'm not, and that's great too.

Speaker 1: 26:00

So I want to end with a prayer, because this is how I'm going to end my talks now, every week about the ow, this original wounding that we all have, and my prayers follow a formula, and it's a formula Weston gave me from the other side, and I'm going to say these prayers every week for you, for me, for the collective, and this week, specifically, is about the healing of this original wound. So, if you're somewhere safe, I invite you to sit down and to close your eyes, and I begin all of my prayers by connecting to our deep self, to our soul inside of us, where we can feel it, and it's a very felt sense. So let's feel it. So place your feet firmly on the ground, your hands on your lap, and feel your feet held on the earth. Our mother, this body is earth. We are animated clay. We are literally the bridge between heaven and earth. This body is the clay, is the earth, and what animates us is the energy of the stars, this life-giving consciousness that comes from the source. So place your feet on the ground, feel it, feel the gravity and say in your mind or say it out loud I connect myself to the healing center of Mother Earth, from whom all life grows, and inhale and feel the energy of your mother coming up through your feet, feel the tingling in your feet and up your legs, fill up your belly with air and then say I connect myself to the healing light of source creator and raise your hands over your head and, as you exhale, pull that energy slowly down and imagine a white light just coming around you and then say I now connect to my deep self and feel in your body where you felt that little spark, just light up and let your hands come to rest on where you feel that deep self to be, and it might be in more than one place. Just feel it.

Speaker 1: 28:45

Mother, father, source, creator of the Universe, all that is, all that was, all that ever will be, the ineffable is-ness of all that is. I humbly come before you as I connect as a spark of you to the many lives and many masters who have fully embodied your love and your light and for me that is Mary Magdalene, yeshua, the Hathors and, of course, my beautiful son on the other side. And for you, listener, call in those lights, those ascended lights who live the brightest love that there is in your own life, call them into your field and, in the name of the Holy Spirit, the Ruka Dekucha, force of creation that makes manifest everything that these lights have ever created, including me. I come very present before you, I forgive and release the wounds of my owl, my original wound, known and unknown, so that grace can dissolve the lies that do not belong to me and so that I may rescue my truth and be present inside of my body to feel the truth that lights me up, truth that lights me up, for what lights me up is where I am spiritual, and what lights me up lights up the world. Let the light of my truth dissolve any and all false beliefs and truths of others that I adopted as my own with a mind that was so brilliant and yet had no foundation for which to base those conclusions about myself. I ask for the clear vision of who I truly am, as light as love, to dissolve these lies completely, and I trust in these lies being dissolved immediately on my behalf, by my soul, for, in truth and in reality, there are no lies, there are no wounds, and this has all been a vibrational misprint on my field, and I trust that they're being reprinted right now with the correct frequencies of light and love, in alignment with my soul, and I surrender, and I surrender.

Speaker 1: 32:55

I surrender in the moment to stay in the present moment of this divine unfolding, for I, of myself, do nothing and I trust in my soul. I trust in the source creator and I trust in the soul. I trust in the source creator and I trust in the ascended lights and masters that I have called upon to help me become coherent in my frequency and undertake this transformation, of which my mind has no part. I surrender so that I may step into the power of my light and to shine my light on the world through the gifts and through the purpose and the meaning that my soul intended when I came into this body, into this avatar, in this lifetime. May I awaken and then may I give freely of my soul as the light that I am and the gifts that I have, as the light that I am and the gifts that I have, knowing, trusting that there is nothing to heal, and I dissolve the belief that there is anything left to heal and I return all vibrational imprints back to their original source and I will no longer carry these illusions and truths that belong to other people that are not mine.

Speaker 1: 34:47

And let us sit in this frequency for a moment. I feel it Inhale deeply into your belly, fueling your body with oxygen. Inhaling for four counts, exhaling for eight. Let yourself make that ocean breathing sound. One more breath, exhale, exhale. I let this be so. I know that this is so and so it is Amen. Thank you for joining me this week on this beautiful transmission, and this is how I will be doing my talks, sharing things from my journals on this soul growth journey that we're all on, and I know that as I awaken, you awaken. As you awaken, I awaken. Thank you awaken. As you awaken, I awaken. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May you be so blessed.

Speaker 1: 36:38

Drink a lot of water and notice, now that you've done this practice, that that inner conflict will become more conscious in your mind, because we, through our free will, must choose our soul. We can't do it when we feel like it, because we're never going to feel like it. We have to choose to do it. Do it and know that when you make that decision to choose your soul, you are narrowing that gap. And what waits on the other side, once you get past that threshold of discomfort, is freedom, so much freedom, so much peace.

Speaker 1: 37:29

You see, and there's a great pain that comes with seeing. There's a great truth that you carry that comes with seeing. There's a responsibility in this that comes with seeing and knowing. But it doesn't come with judgment, and that's what it frees you from. It gives you clarity to see why people are behaving. They're doing it from their original wounds. Nothing is personal and you can respond with love, and when you do, you're the force that changes the world, and this is how we do it. Love is a superpower and, as always, I invite you to Vibology, my website V-I-B-O-L-O-G-I-Ecom, to go download your seven day frequency upgrade meditation.

Speaker 1: 38:15

I'm also beginning this Sunday, the 31st of August, the Way of Mastery study group on Zoom. The Way of Mastery is such a profound book. It's the book that began all of this transformation for me, and you can buy the book at shantychristocom no affiliation to me whatsoever and join us on Sundays at 9am Arizona time so right now we're on Pacific time and it's going to be so powerful. It's free. You can go to my website and sign up there at Way of Mastery, and I do invite you to get on my email list because I will be launching my book soon, as well as an amazing program which I am calling the Threshold to walk you through these incredible processes that I have been given from the other side, from Weston, that are so powerful and they will transform your life into the life you're meant to live.

Speaker 1: 39:15

All right, beauties, I wish you a blessed and beautiful week, and next week I will have a guest on my show and I can't wait for you to meet him. All right, beloveds, bye, thank you for listening to. We Woke Up Like this. Bye, your authentic frequency is the frequency that will change the world.