Joya: 0:00

You are listening to. We Woke Up Like this and I am your host, joya Cisnowski. I am dedicated to the soul's growth and seeing the higher self embodied, expanded and expressed in every woman.

Joya: 0:14

Enjoy the show. Well, hello, maya, thank you for joining me again on. We Woke Up Like this, and I say again, because we had recorded a beautiful conversation, that for some reason this, and I say again because we had recorded a beautiful conversation that, for some reason, the divine wanted us to rerecord, because I think we needed to get to this juicy, juicy conversation about you and what you have to say about living your dreams. So what are you talking about when you say life is short? Live your dreams.

MayaLila: 0:42

Well, that pretty much summarizes it. Life is short and we need to live our fucking dreams, and I feel like all of us that went to that had typical parents in the United States and went to a typical school. That's not the focus. Like the focus isn't. How will you be the most you and the most thriving, authentic version, and what's your passion and what lights your heart up and what are your skills and gifts that you're here to serve the world with? Like that's not questions. I was asked as a child. You know what I was told is I was a very skilled artist and loved creativity of all kinds, and I was told over and over and over and over again you can't make a living being an artist. You can't make a living being an artist. You can't make a living being an artist.

MayaLila: 1:26

And both of my parents were school teachers and so they took the very like safe route of getting a job at a school and with a, you know, with a pension and with health insurance, and they both stayed there for 40 years until they retired. And like, yeah, they retired and they had a lot of money from their pension and they had health years until they retired. And like, yeah, they retired and they had a lot of money from their pension and they had health insurance until they die. But they didn't live their dreams and they didn't really have anybody Like we didn't really have anybody around us that was living their dreams. Most of my family was either teachers or in the military. Um, so it was a very safe path that was presented to me and I rebelled.

MayaLila: 2:09

And I was, you know, when I right out of college, I told my mom, right after I graduated, I was like I want to move back to Italy because I had studied abroad in Italy, fallen in love with the culture, with a guy there with a language, and I knew the first time I left the United States, at age 18, I knew I wasn't meant to be in the United States.

MayaLila: 2:29

I was like this isn't my home, like I value beauty and I value quality of life and things that show up more in Europe than they do in the United States, and I just felt that there was a mismatch there.

MayaLila: 2:43

And so when I graduated from college, I told my mom like hey, I'm moving back to Italy, and she freaked out and she was like no, you need to get a job with insurance, like right out of college or you're never gonna get a job, which obviously is like insane, that doesn't make any sense. But at the time she was terrified for me and that was like our first big fight really, and I said, sorry, mom, like I'm moving back to Italy, which I did but then I couldn't really work legally and I had college loans hanging over my head and so I tried it and I couldn't really make it fly. So I came back and was just so depressed and moved to Los Angeles, got multiple jobs and spent yeah, spent over a decade as an alcoholic in the rat race in a place that my heart knew wasn't my right place. And and, yeah, it took it took a decade for me to finally leave Los Angeles and that was one of the best decisions of my life and I moved to Argentina.

MayaLila: 3:44

Wow, you said so many things that I think are so interesting that it just gave me an aha moment. Around that generation, like our parents, depending on your age, right, so like our parents, had that mentality of get a job, you need to be safe. You got to create security and, as you said that, I was like, oh, I wonder if we're transitioning as a society, as a species even, from like that's like all root chakra stuff, right when it's like I need to be safe, I need to be, have security, and then you live your whole life in a cubicle and then you live your whole life in your living room watching TV and then you die. So I love this and we both know, obviously we know a lot of people like that. I know a lot of people like that and I've always said, like that seems so awful to me.

MayaLila: 4:34

And then you also said something to around 10 spent 10 years as an alcoholic in Los Angeles, and I want to hear a little bit about that, because I know for me, drinking was a mask to escape a reality that I didn't want to be living in under the guise of well, let's just go have quote unquote a good time. So talk about those two things, what drinking was for you, how you stopped. And then what was the impetus for you to just decide to leave LA and stop doing what you were doing was the impetus for you to just decide to leave LA and stop doing what you were doing.

MayaLila: 5:11

The first time I ever got drunk was in Italy and I was 20 years old and I was at this bar called Teatro Scribe it's this little, tiny, tiny hole in the wall bar and there was a band that would play on stage almost every night and I remember I would. The only thing that I had the guts to play was a chicken egg shaker and I studied music my whole life but like one of my biggest woundings has been singing in front of people. Like I can sing in choirs and da, da, but if it's me alone in front of people, my throat used to just close like I could not do it, and I was. I felt like I was going to die. And one night this woman got on stage and she sang Son of a Preacher man and this like stab of envy, just like shot through my heart, and I was like I want to do that and I just was. I had so much trauma and repression and past life stuff, whatever, that I could not. I couldn't do it, but if I had a few drinks I could get on stage and play the drums. I could get on stage and play the drums and, like you were saying, like I had so much fear and anxiety in my body that the drinking helped put that away for a while so that I could just be happy and enjoy my life, quote unquote and so from like from that point, and then, yeah, that was in Italy where I was like much happier.

MayaLila: 6:23

And then I came back to the States, went through a pretty severe depression and started drinking, you know, pretty much every day, and it wasn't like I wasn't getting smashed. Every day I would drink it like one or two alcoholic, you know, glass of wine or a beer, and I was with friends and everybody did that, like that was just normal in LA. You go out for drinks after work, go out for drinks after work, and and then it progressed to like blacking out every weekend pretty much for a couple hours, because I would drink my black Russians and drink a couple or Red Bull and vodkas and I would. I would go out dancing mostly, and the, the dancing and the drinking I realized later was also just to deal with the energy of living in a city like Los Angeles, because I'm extremely sensitive and psychic, intuitive, whatever, and so, and at the time, like until I had a huge heartbreak at age 29, 30, I was pretty disassociated from the neck down, from the head down, so I didn't. I was like I don't have anxiety, I don't have anger issues, I'm good. And then that stuff started leaking through the cracks in my late twenties and then, when I had my heart smashed, it all came out and I was like, oh fuck, like there's a lot in here that I need to deal with that I didn't even know was there.

MayaLila: 7:46

Actually, my late 20s was I started doing ecstasy, mdma, and I learned pretty quickly that you can't do ecstasy and drink at the same time, because I ended up the first time I ever somebody gave me ecstasy and then I was drinking like normal. I ended up making out with like four different guys and I actually was sexually assaulted also by one of them and I confronted him after and he was like no, nothing happened and I was like my pants are on backwards the next morning. So I knew something had happened and there's other evidence. So I stopped drinking when I was doing ecstasy and we now know like at the time this is in the 2000s we now know that MDMA can be used to treat like PTSD and anxiety disorders, and I have CPTSD from childhood trauma.

MayaLila: 8:28

My earliest memory is my father trying to kill my mother by choking her.

MayaLila: 8:31

He was bipolar, manic, alcoholic, and so he also would threaten to kill her while I was spending time with him and would tell me that I would be an orphan on Skid Row and take me to Skid Row in LA and drive me around.

MayaLila: 8:44

So I have some severe trauma that the dancing and the MDMA started to help me, like work through some of that. And then I also did psilocybin not very many times, just a few times while I was living in LA and again, like that kind of, I started waking up and I started realizing like okay, like I don't want to be getting blackout drunk, like if I'm supposed to be having fun and I don't remember anything, what's the point? Like that's obviously not having fun if you can't remember it and um, and then I started doing more meditation and yoga and so I did kind of pull myself out of alcoholism and it's something that I no longer struggle with and I will have. Like I still love wine, even though I can feel like as soon as I have a glass I can feel like the. I just feel tired and I can feel my eyes closing, you know. So yeah, I rerouted myself from alcoholism in my late 20s and with the help of psychedelics, Wow, that's amazing, and you know.

MayaLila: 9:46

It just goes to show how many different routes and paths I'm like. It doesn't matter what you do. Your soul is always on its path of awakening and no matter what road you choose to take, it's going to lead you to where you want to be, assuming you live long enough to have that happen to you, to have that experience. So your dreams that were to you, to have that experience? So your dreams that were calling you forward, what were those dreams that you were ignoring or that you were tamping down, that you finally said, yes, I'm going to do this.

MayaLila: 10:16

The biggest one was just getting out of the country. I had huge travel dreams. I wanted to travel. I loved living. I hate traveling, I hate the process of like getting on the flights and traveling, but I love going somewhere and living there, and preferably six months to a year so you get to experience different seasons and everything.

MayaLila: 10:34

And so when I was in LA, I met someone who turned into a spiritual mentor for me. He was this super hot Argentinian, kundalini, yoga instructor, musician. I was in love with him. I'd been celibate for like a year at that point and I'd stopped, I'd quit drinking. I quit drinking for a couple of years and I met him at a yoga class and I knew immediately I was like that's my soulmate. And I made a list, like an hour or two prior, of like the you know the 35 item list of everything you want a soulmate. And when I walked into the yoga studio I saw him and I knew it was him and so we talked and um, and he's like oh, I live in Argentina, I'm leaving in a few days. And I was like, okay, nevermind. Like I had done long distance with my Italian boyfriend, so I was like I'm never doing that again. So I was like, okay, I'll see you later, like have a good trip to LA.

MayaLila: 11:25

And I went outside and I was walking through the farmer's market and this is in Santa Monica. And so I'm walking through the farmer's market and I see him walking towards me and he doesn't see me. And my intuition was like go talk to him. And I was like I don't want to talk to him. He's leaving for Argentina, like Argentina, like what's the point? But my attention was like go talk to him. And it was this choice point where I could have just kept walking. But instead I chose to listen to the voice that was telling me to do something and I turned around, I tapped him on the shoulder and I was like hey, I know you're leaving in a few days, but do you want to go to the Getty tomorrow, which is this huge museum? And he was like sure. So at this point all I knew was that he was Argentinian and that he liked yoga. And so the next day we went to the museum.

MayaLila: 12:07

We ended up having this intense conversation for 10 hours where I found out through the course of the day he was every single thing of like the 25, 30 items on my list and in I had this realization that all the things on my list like um, he like, I wanted a guy who was a musician, I wanted someone who was half an Italian, I wanted someone who was a yoga instructor they were all things that I wanted to be. And so I kind of had this like like, oh, it's all projection. All the things that we think we want in a partner are just things that either that we have like weird conditioning around or they're unclaimed parts of ourselves. And he said that day, he's like, he's like, look like you're hot, but I don't feel like we're meant to have sex in this lifetime. Of course I didn't want to hear that and I was like, yeah, whatever. And so we became close friends and I got laid off of my job in in Los Angeles a few months later and he had gone back to Argentina.

MayaLila: 13:03

So he's like hey, why don't you move to Argentina? And I was like, okay. So I sold, I sold everything, sold my car. Everyone in California my family, my friends are like don't sell your car, you need your car. And I'm like I'm not coming back, I don't want a car. Um, and I moved to Argentina and, um, he kicked my ass spiritually, like called me out on all of my, all of my unconsciousness, all of my just ways that I was being manipulative or or not speaking truth, or like all the ways the ego shows up to try to like weasel its way to get what it thinks it wants.

MayaLila: 13:40

So it's very intense, very profound, and eventually we were working together again, like we never engaged sexually, but we were working together on his music. And eventually I was like I need to go, I need to figure out what my dreams are. And he was like no, no, don't leave me. Like like, stay and we'll work on my dreams and then we'll figure out your dreams. And I was like no, like I got to leave, I can't do this. And he was pissed, but I knew I just had to, I had to focus on myself and that kind of launched me into a spiritual journey that hasn't ended since then.

MayaLila: 14:09

But getting out of the US and moving to Argentina, like I felt fully alive. I was like this is what I was supposed to be doing, and like I didn't love Argentina, like I love parts of it. But I also was like, ah, like I would rather, like I want to be in Italy. So I ended up moving to Italy for a year after that, when I, when I took the leap into the void of moving to a different country, it felt right and everything worked out, everything flowed and and I knew that doing this crazy thing was following my heart and my dreams and I knew that, like this, is in alignment. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going, you know, but this is in alignment with what I came here for.

MayaLila: 14:49

I love that, so many things that you just said, and especially about how we like when we're unconscious about honoring our own dreams, and even learning how to listen like when you said you were disconnected from the head down. I know exactly what you're talking about because I was the same way for a long time and learning how to, yeah, those projections that we're putting onto other people like, oh, let's do this for you, and that list that you made, like, oh, this is for me, not for a partner. That's like we're. We have to learn to give ourselves that permission to say yes to what we want.

MayaLila: 15:22

And you just said something so key and it's something that I'm realizing for myself right now in this process of as I'm stepping into just deeper and deeper self trust, which means not caring what other people think about my experience of reality, because that truth that you just said right, that this felt good in my heart, that that's really, I think, where the truth speaks. It's not logical, it's not rational, it's not in our mind. Our mind is going to argue with us that this doesn't make any sense, this is not rational, this is not a good thing to do. You shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that Versus the heart is this felt sense of truth? And so I'm wondering about that felt sense of truth and if that's something that you can share your experience of and for anybody listening how that feels and how you know to listen to that truth as opposed to that arguing mind that wants to keep you safe.

MayaLila: 16:18

Yeah, and I have the perfect story for this that it's a continuation of Argentina. So I lived in Buenos Aires for seven months with this guy and worked with him and really grew a lot, but realized I needed to go. And a friend of mine had moved to Patagonia and she was working with this woman who had multiple sclerosis and lived on like this ranch in the middle of nowhere, and so she would, you know, help her out in the mornings and then have the afternoon off. And my friend was like why don't you come visit me and stay with us down here? And I was like, can I just move there, like, do you need more help? And she was like sure. So I took a 20-hour bus ride to this tiny town 2,000 people, middle of nowhere, middle of Patagonia, and no paved roads, no restaurants like, no stoplights, no, no cars. Really Everybody rode horses or walked in this little village and it was the first time I'd ever lived outside of a city, because I grew up in Southern California, in Orange County, I lived in LA, I moved to Buenos Aires, which is like a huge metropolis, and then I went to this tiny place in Patagonia in like silence and nature, and I loved it and I was just like, ah, like I can finally breathe, I can hear myself think, and like there's not this like low grade anxiety that's constant. So it was. It was amazing and I loved it so much.

MayaLila: 17:35

But then after a few months, like my money started running out and again there wasn't really any way to make money and I'd had an income flow that stopped and so I got to this choice point again where it's like, okay, I can't stay here, I need to go somewhere. So what do I do? And my choices in my mind. My options were move back to LA and like move in with my parents and try to get another job, which, like that, felt like death. I had an aunt who lived in Oregon who had invited me, if I ever needed to, to live with her. I'd been to Oregon when I was eight years old on a road trip and I had a knowing in my bones when I was eight that I would live in Oregon eventually. So I was like, okay, I could go back and live with her in Oregon, which that was slightly better, but I didn't want to go back to the States. Another choice was I had a friend who was living in Marseille in France at the time and he said, hey, I have an extra bedroom, you can move here. Like, at least that's not the U? S, I don't really want to go to France. And so I'm struggling with this decision of like okay, and, and they were all kind of, and the France one wasn't logical because I can't work in France either. And it was like okay, I need to be logical, I need to go somewhere I can make money. Like, where do I go? What do I do?

MayaLila: 18:41

And this woman had a deck of goddess cards and at the time I didn't know much about like goddess stuff or like animal medicine or any. I didn't. I was kind of a, I started meditating, but I didn't know that much. So she said, well, why don't we ask the goddess deck of cards? And I was like okay, so we're shuffling. And I told her my options and she's like well, where would you go if you could pick anywhere in the world? And I was like Italy, like I love Italy, I want to go back to Italy. Like this, like I, every day I'm in Italy, not in Italy, my heart hurts a little bit. And so she's like okay, so we shuffle the deck and I pull a card and it's Fortuna, the Roman goddess of fate, and the whole card is about Italy. And we start laughing. And I was like okay, I guess I'm going to Italy. And she's like I guess you're going to Italy.

MayaLila: 19:26

So the next day I booked a flight to Italy and again there was no logical reason for me to go to Italy. I didn't really have any connections left from, I wasn't with the guy anymore, like that had ended almost a decade prior. But it's where I wanted to go. And I got the sign from the universe of like go. So I was like okay, fuck it, I'm just going to fucking go with the last of my money. And so I booked a flight and I started kind of reaching out to try to find contacts. I found a couch surfing host who, like this Italian guy who'd been to Burning man which I'd been to Burning man. So I was like, okay, like he seems cool. And he's like, yeah, you can stay here for two weeks when you land. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go there. And then that was it. I didn't know what I was going to do after that I was.

MayaLila: 20:08

I had to go back to Buenos Aires and get my passport renewed, so I had to stay there for a month and a friend had commissioned me to watercolor for her children's book and I was. I had so many blockages around creativity and art but I was trying to do it, but I was procrastinating. So I was on Twitter and I'm just like scrolling on social media instead of doing the watercolors. And I see this line and it says this woman is imagineering the future or something like that Imagineering the future with Dana Lynn Anderson. So I click on the interview and it starts playing and it says Dana Lynn Anderson is opening an academy of art, creativity and consciousness in Italy. And it was like I was hit by a bolt of lightning and I was like I'm going there, like I just I was like I'm going there and I stopped the interview. I didn't even listen to the rest.

MayaLila: 20:56

I Googled her, I found her email address, I emailed her and I was like hey, I'm going to be in Italy in a month. Can I come help you launch this academy? And she was like sure, like come. And she sent some information and I started Googling more about the spiritual community she lived in. And so this is 2012 and like nine no, I don't know five or six years prior, I had, in one week, two people handed me a copy of Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, and so I was like, ok, I guess I should read this book. And so I read the book, changed my life and started studying meditation through his center, the Self-Realization Center in Los Angeles. So that's where I learned how to meditate. So that's where I learned how to meditate.

MayaLila: 21:42

Dana Lynn Anderson and the Academy of Art, creativity and Consciousness was part of the Ananda community, which was an ashram in Italy that had been created by one of Paramahansa Yogananda's direct disciples, swami Kriyananda, which just blew my mind, because I didn't know there were ashrams in Italy, I didn't know there were communities based on Paramahansa Yogananda's teachings. Like it was complete divine orchestration, synchronicity, whatever you want to call it. So I flew to Italy and I'm an American. Usually, you know, you only get three months in the Schengen zone in the EU.

MayaLila: 22:20

But when I got to Rome and I had a layover before I flew to Florence and I was trying to get a cell phone and I saw this like shortcut to the part of the airport with the mall and I asked the guard. I was like, hey, can I go get a cell phone and he said something really fast in Italian and my Italian was rusty so I didn't understand and I was like yeah, yeah, ok, and so he let me through, and then I got my phone and then flew to Florence, then through, and then I got my phone and then flew to Florence, then got my luggage and I step out on the street corner and I realized I never went through customs, I never got a stamp in my passport, there's no documentation of me entering this country. So I realized I can stay here in Italy as long as I want. You know, like that was just what I assumed. So I ended up staying for a year at the ashram, helping the launch of the Academy of Art, creativity and Consciousness.

MayaLila: 23:09

Oh my gosh, that's so amazing and I love that number one your trust just to follow the card and go to Italy. When you listen to those things, that's how the magic unfolds. And I always say that people who call experiences like that, those kinds of synchronicities or those signs that we really get, that we know inside of us is a sign, but I always say that people who don't believe in the divine or believe in spirituality, they use the word coincidence rather than the word you know, a synchronicity, or following it, or trusting it to go. So that was, I mean, that place sounds amazing to go there, so did that reignite your love of art and your? I mean, it sounds like you're already doing it, but did it reignite something inside of you?

MayaLila: 23:56

It actually changed my relationship with art, because I had always had this like cerebral connection to art. And it was when I, when, as a child, I was a really good artist and so it was all about like, how good can you be, like, how good of a picture can you make? It wasn't about my self-expression, it was about like a photocopy of, like a picture of a tiger, and then I can like do almost photorealism of this picture of the tiger, and so there was no juice there was. It wasn't art that I was making, it was just like like photocopies. And when I went to the Academy of Art, creativity and Consciousness she has a transformational art program which I got certified in and in this process I learned how to create from what I was feeling in my body, which, again, I hadn't been connected to until a few years prior. So it completely for the first time in my life, which, again, I hadn't been connected to until a few years prior. So it completely for the first time in my life, and I was like 32 at this time I, I, I painted and I drew from feeling rather than from the mind, and so that completely shifted my connection, um, to painting and to art and and yeah it was. It was a year of, like, very deep transformation and, um, just living it. It fulfilled a dream for me of living in Italy long term. And after that, after that year, um, I came back to the states when my grandmother and my father both passed away. When my grandmother and my father both passed away and I I want to I intended to go back to Europe, but I ended up staying in Oregon for 10 years. But being in Italy for that year kind of like satiated that longing that I'd had so intensely for the prior 15 years or however many years. It was 12 years, yeah, it's.

MayaLila: 25:45

I feel like sometimes we have these dreams and you kind of have to do the dream for it to be completed in some way, and then you're ready for, like, the next dream, and so living in Italy for that year kind of completed, okay, like I lived in Italy and I was an interpreter for yoga and meditation classes, because I always had this idea of like okay, maybe that's what I want to do for with my life is was an interpreter for yoga and meditation classes, because I always had this idea of like okay, maybe that's what I want to do with my life is be an interpreter and translate Italian and English.

MayaLila: 26:10

And I did that and I realized like, no, like I need to use my own voice, I want to speak my own words. I don't want to just be putting other people's words into different languages. But I didn't know that until I did it and I didn't realize, you know, yeah, I had to live those dreams in order to then go on to like the next things without that that desire, kind of like staying active in that longing. But I believe that our, I believe our dreams are destiny and I believe that they're divine directives and I feel like things that we've always wanted to do are almost like future memories calling us forward that are part of our life path.

MayaLila: 26:53

Yeah, that makes total sense to me.

MayaLila: 26:55

I always think it's interesting when we're having conversations like this and how similar we all are as humans and taking these different paths and learning to trust ourselves, and sometimes it is doing the thing that's not the right thing. That will then direct you, and I love your level of self-awareness of knowing and realizing these projections right when it's like oh, this is a projection that's for me to own, including interpreting for other people. Right when you're like I need to learn to use my own voice, and I just think that's so beautiful. And I also think that our dreams are like. They're energetic, right, and so it's really the energetic expression of what our soul, how our soul wants to express and how, when you follow one, even if it's like a baby dream, right, that little mini dream that just launches you into this different trajectory of life, how then that path begins to unfold and open things that you didn't see coming. Given that, what was the biggest surprise? Or the next dream that called you forward after being in the States for 10 more years?

MayaLila: 28:02

I loved, like Oregon is beautiful and I loved living there. I had an amazing community of women and witches. And again, like more intense healing, I lived in nature. I'd always dreamed of living in a yurt on a creek in the woods and I finally achieved that and it felt amazing. And again like it's like these leveling ups where I got the yurt on the creek, in the forest. That was gorgeous and I loved it.

MayaLila: 28:31

And once I got it, I was like my soul was like okay, like next, like you don't just stay here forever, which I kind of thought maybe I was going to. But then after we lived there for a little yeah, about a, about a year, and we lived also in like another cabin for a year before that I feel like as you, as you expand into your dreams to, because to get from where you are into your next dream, even if it's a little one, it takes courage because you're choosing the crazy, maybe illogical thing or thing that people are like no, you shouldn't do that, just stay normal, just do the thing, just work here and stay safe. And so when you take these leaps, I feel like making courageous choices that are aligned with our truth levels us up into higher timelines. So once I had gotten this kind of like dream life in the woods on the creek, my intuition then was like, ok, like now you need to get the fuck out of the United States. And I had an awakening like I've had a series of awakenings over the last 15 years Like I've. You know, I've had a series of awakenings over the last 15 years, but this this last one in February a year ago, february was like a heartbreaking open awakening and I got a direct message of get rid of all your shit, get your finances in order, you're, you're leaving, you're moving to an island, basically. And I was like what is going on? Where are we going? I don't know.

MayaLila: 30:02

And there was a lot of fear because at the time I was I mean, I'm a single mom. I had two children who were like five and nine at the time, and no money like living, you know, hand to mouth, and. But the the directive was so clear and it came along with a lot of other downloads and some healing capacities came online. There was a lot going on. But I was like, okay, like I'm being presented with this directive, do I follow it or do I stay safe and just stay here on my land in Oregon and keep going on this path, and I knew that if I didn't go on to the next thing, that my soul would die, I would start shriveling and I would just end up dying eventually. So I started getting rid of my stuff. Most of my friends and family are supportive of me following my intuition and being crazy at this point.

MayaLila: 30:54

But I did have a family member who freaked out and she was like cause it it? I thought we were moving to Hawaii for a minute, cause I've lived in Hawaii before, but then I was redirected to Greece, which I've been wanting. I've been longing to go to Greece at that point for 25 years and it never been. I've been to Italy like nine times but I'd never made it to Greece. And some things opened up and so it's like okay, we're, we're going to Greece.

MayaLila: 31:18

And I had a family member and she, she freaked out and she was like I think you're in a manic state and you're making, you know, irrational choices. And dah, dah, because I was, I was breaking the family motto of stay safe, don't be crazy, you know, don't follow your dreams. And the thing was that this family member she had bought me a map of Greece six years prior, because she's known that I've always dreamed of living in Greece. And so I brought that up, like I heard her fears and I kind of held space and I was like you bought me a map of Greece six years ago, like you remember that right. And she's like, yeah, yeah, I remember that. I'm like okay, like this isn't, I'm not manic, this isn't a crazy out of nowhere, like I'm making irrational decisions, like this is something I've been wanting to do for 25 years. And so she's like okay. And so she you know, she calmed down. But it was interesting to feel that like family conditioning voice be like no, no, stay safe, stay here, stay put, don't act crazy.

MayaLila: 32:21

And given your, you know your history, what you shared about your father, it's like this fear of like they're trying to control it, right, they're trying to control, control, control. So nobody has that experience.

MayaLila: 32:32

Yeah, and I'd gone through that with my mother at one point where I did have a psych. I had an ungrounded, awakening experience that then devolved into a psychotic, like a psychosis, psychotic break, which my experience was. I went into the underworld and I was, I was on the side of madness, which I've been there now and I understand what it is and I know what it feels like and I've worked with people who have, you know, when they tip over to that side, I'm actually really good at communicating with them because I understand it and I've been there. But it wasn't and I went, you know, I was put in a mental hospital and held there for a while and I refused all medications and the doctors tried to diagnose me with bipolar and I was like, I'm not bipolar. This was like an incident, this was like an isolated incidence and I was I think I was eight or nine months postpartum. So I was like what about postpartum psychosis?

MayaLila: 33:24

Why don't we diagnose it as that? And they're like well, okay, and I was just like. You know, I had to play the game because the systems are rigged in in fear and also as a form of protection, but they're not actually helping anybody. And most shamans you know, the people that are schizophrenic, bipolar experience, these things that we term mental illness are actually the people that walk between worlds and in indigenous societies they are recognized and mentored of how to work with this energy. In our society it's pathologized, it's repressed, it's drugged. So that's something I'm super passionate about. I and I yeah, I have ADD and I have, you know, some of these things that could be pathologized, and I think we just don't understand. We don't understand energy, we don't understand spirit, because our our actually our society is schizophrenic because it's based on a lie that the divine doesn't exist, ancestors don't exist, spirit is the woo is not real. So we're living in a world that is constructed on a lie.

MayaLila: 34:26

So, yeah, we're gonna everyone's gonna feel crazy.

MayaLila: 34:29

Yeah, and oh my gosh, you just said so many things. Oh, we could go on this whole other tangent now about those gifts, those things that are truly gifts, and refusing to go down a path if you're not certain, like 100% certain, that this is driving me somewhere. That's not healthy. And I really want to touch on something that you addressed briefly, because I my intuition was like oh, people need to hear this, especially right now, as more people are awakening, ungrounded awakenings, spontaneous Kundalini awakenings. Let's talk about that. So that's what is that?

MayaLila: 35:05

Yeah, when you, when you went on into what you're focusing on, that's exactly what I want to talk about, I feel like the main. So there's two main problems with with these spiritual universal energies and awakening One is being ungrounded and two is trauma. And so in our current society, almost everyone is traumatized and has trauma and like varying levels with varying sources. And you know, there's like capital T trauma of like parents dying, sexual abuse, war zones, things like this. But there's also like smaller traumas that occur daily in schools or in families where the child feels like they're not being heard or like their emotions are being denied or rejected or they just feel alone and that energy gets trapped in the body. And so what I see in people where there's a negative expression of these intense energies in bipolar, manic schizophrenia, other things, even ADHD there's trauma in the system that's blocking the energy flow and kind of making it shoot out sideways like a hose that has a kink in it. And that was my father. He had severe trauma. He was born in Ireland in the 1950s in the Magdalene laundries, and the Magdalene laundries were slave labor camps for Irish women who got pregnant out of wedlock, and so he was in this Catholic orphanage and we all know the Catholic base of trauma, which is sexual abuse and then also physical abuse, the nuns hitting people, everything. But he was there until he was four and then he was adopted by an American family or purchased, and this is the fifties. They don't know about trauma, they don't know about detachment style. There was no counseling, there was no nothing. It was like you're in San Diego, now you have a good life, what the fuck is wrong with you? And that manifested in a lot of ugliness when he was an adult and in my childhood. But so I feel like we need to be able to work with these intense energies of basically being a channel of source energy which again, people, schizophrenia, bipolar, manic. I feel like they're actually tuning into these energies of the other world, like I experienced in February.

MayaLila: 37:34

I never believed in entities before last year, but I had a direct experience. I was at a party and the entity of rape entered the house and I felt it and I was like what the hell is that? Like, oh my God, is someone getting raped? And I went to check all the rooms. No one's getting raped and I won't tell the whole story right now, but I, uh, I stopped a girl from getting raped by two men and I took them outside to talk to them. And, um, men and I took them outside to talk to them and they were doing cocaine and alcohol and they had entities attached to them which I cleared. I found out later they were Lakota, they were from a reservation, so they had undergone severe trauma, some of which they shared with me at the party.

MayaLila: 38:10

But it wasn't like these men were going to rape the girl. It was the entities that were attracted to their trauma that basically possessed them to do this horrible thing. That's like an echo of trauma that was done to their people. You know, it's all these patterns and cycles. So, yeah, trauma healing is necessary for us to hold those spiritual energies and the source energies without them going sideways due to entities and or fear or, like you know, the ego shutting down as a protective mechanism, which is that's what psychosis is, and then grounding.

MayaLila: 38:42

Most people, most humans, are totally ungrounded. They don't have their feet on the ground. Some humans can go their entire life without ever touching the earth If they wear shoes and they never go to the beach, like they can just go their entire lives without touching the ground. When, again, when we, when these energies come and you're not connected to the earth, they're going to fry your circuit board and again cause all these you know issues that we then pathologize what I experienced. So when I, when I had the awakening, ungrounded awakening, I basically I went to this very intense retreat and then I woke up and I basically was like enlightened for like a day or two, but I also wasn't sleeping and I wasn't grounded and I was breastfeeding my daughter, who was eight months, and so I wasn't, I wasn't stable and I wasn't able to hold all this energy and stay stabilized and so it devolved into psychosis, went into the underworld.

MayaLila: 39:41

The experience I had in February was the same kind of energy, but this time I was totally grounded. I was living in the woods, I was barefoot every day on the earth. I had been barefoot on the earth for a few years at that point, on a daily basis, and I was, yeah, like my energy was cleared out because I'm living in the forest, I'm not in a city anymore, and I'd done a ton of healing work at that point. And so my experiences with the first round of awakening, where it went into psychosis, in in that space, it was interesting because, um, I stopped being able to function in space. Space. It was interesting because I stopped being able to function in space, like at the time I was in Los Angeles where I'd lived for over a decade and I could not locate myself in space and I had to get anywhere. I had to use a GPS and like my iPhone was like my tether while I was in LA for that time, because I could not get anywhere, even places I'd lived and been before a million times, like my whole sense of space was erased. So that was really interesting for me.

MayaLila: 40:44

In that experience, with this experience back in February of last year, my sense of time was erased and every day seemed like a thousand years and the synchronicities were just like nonstop synchronicities. I could hear the synchronicities I could. I could hear the universe speaking to me. I could feel the intensity of the divine's love for me and everybody. And again it wasn't like about me, it was like, oh, like the divine loves everyone so intensely and we as humans, we're just playing this game where we can't feel it and we can't see it, and it's this, this like divine amnesia is what Alan Alan Watts calls it. But I could feel the intensity of of the love of the divine and but yeah, so in this grounded experience, time disappeared and I couldn't, like I was in the present moment so intensely that I couldn't remember if something had happened a day ago or a week ago. And again, like every, every second felt like a year. It was very intense, but it was also a lot of fun and it was beautiful.

MayaLila: 41:46

And in the psychotic episode, when it devolved, it was a lot of fear and I was in it like a form of hell where there's paranoia, and I thought, you know, I was in this place where, like, everybody was coming to kill or rape me and it was. It was horrible. And I think I want to share too is when I was in that other dimension, the only way, what I thought was the only way I could get out was to kill myself. And at the time I wasn't suicidal, I didn't want to die. It wasn't like, oh, I'm miserable, and like I had been considering suicide. But when I was in that other dimension, in the underworld, I thought I had to kill myself to get out of it. And and I, if I, if I had been able to kill myself at that time, I probably would have, but I didn't. I didn't and you know I obviously lived.

MayaLila: 42:31

But I want to say I think a lot of times when people commit suicide it isn't any other know. They're like I had no idea and I thought they were fine and they never said anything. I think sometimes people kill themselves when they go into those other dimensions and they don't know how to get out or they don't have people around them that know how to support them in the process of getting out, because that's another thing. Yeah, if you can hold space for a person while they're going through the underworld without fear, then they kind of come out the other side and like are reborn. But again, our society doesn't have any literacy in doing this really.

MayaLila: 43:14

And oh my gosh, this is such an important topic because I'm witnessing this that exact kind of experience happening in a lot of young people, because they're doing mushrooms, they're doing psychedelics, they're doing these, they're taking these journeys into a part of themselves that they have. No, they're't have the love and the guidance, and so they're going into these journeys and they're getting stuck in that underworld. And, oh my gosh, so you just hit on something so important, because psychedelics do. I think there's such a great tool for activating and cultivating a different perception and a self awareness level that may not have been there before. But there is a dangerous side to them in not understanding the energies of a very real energies of entities that exist that we can't see those energies that do exist and attach to those lower vibrational and they look for those fear states, they look for the wounding, they look for the traumatized, they look for the pain, because that's what they want to attach to. Yeah, wow, yeah, that's such an important thing to talk about, maya.

MayaLila: 44:24

And I will say from a higher level that I don't believe like even entities are all. They're divine. Also, the darkness is made of love as much as the light. The darkness is also the divine and entities are just part of the game. They're kind of like if you're in a video game, there's like the scary demon that comes to kill you and you have to like shoot it and kill it and like that's, and then you win. And it's the same thing with demons.

MayaLila: 44:48

I know it sounds crazy to people who are like no, like, if you die, you die and it's a serious thing. Yes, it is serious for the human and and when we lose people to death, you know it's very painful and the body has to grieve that as a human. And there's a higher level where there's only the divine. It's all one thing your soul is eternal. You don't disappear, as you will know now, and I don't know if you want to speak to that, because I would love to share this podcast with friends and we haven't gone into your recent experience, which I also want to share. Another tangent, but on the higher level, there's really nothing to be afraid of and again, this is a whole can of worms because, again, we live in a schizophrenic society where people are fucking terrified of dying and of death of dying and of death.

MayaLila: 45:38

Yes, they are. And yeah, and I didn't want to you know I don't want to bring things up like that and make this podcast about me and my experience but yeah, I lost my 18 year old son just a little over a month ago. Now it'll be five weeks, actually Monday as of today, which is March, this time thing you talked about. I'm in. I'm like what is the date today? I don't even know the 21st, and and I'm having the experience and you know, I went actually to a bookstore to go seek out. I'm like somebody surely has had this experience that I'm having and I can't find anything about it. So I'm like, okay, well, clearly this is a book that needs to be written, because the interdimensional relocation of my son, because the interdimensional relocation of my son, his interdimensional relocation from his physical body, has the first day. It's um, I had a psychotic break. I couldn't breathe, my whole body was shaking and I realized in that oh, my gosh, my um. Thank God I had a friend who's a somatic trauma therapist and I was able to call her. She got me back into my body, maya. Thank God, I had a friend who's a somatic trauma therapist and I was able to call her. She got me back into my body, back into my breathing, back into the present moment. And when that happened, I realized that there was a voice that was running in my mind. That was not my voice, it wasn't even my own voice. It was an energetic attachment that had glommed onto my pain, that was trying to make me blame myself for this experience and it sent me into this black hole of grief that I was like drowning in. And when I felt it, I heard that voice, I was like, oh yeah, you can go, fuck off, that is not even my voice. I'm like Bye, get out of here.

MayaLila: 47:11

And after that experience, rather than having the death of my son break me closed, it has broken my heart open so wide. I've shattered open into a million pieces. That wouldn't have happened Otherwise. There's just no way this level of pain that my physical human is experiencing Because, as you said right, there's light in the darkness, there's dark in the light, and I know that to the deepest level of this pain that I feel in my heart is equal to the amount of love I feel. So I'm like this is love, this is love manifesting itself in a different way, and so I'm having this intense.

MayaLila: 47:53

I was already spiritually awake and it's been like where the rubber hits the road in this experience of like. Are you awake? Do you really believe what you believe? Do you really trust in the divine? Do you really can you really surrender everything you think? You know that I that I knew rationally, I knew intellectually and also in my heart, but this has really separated me so much from my mind and my thinking to notice how the conditioned self loves to play negative thoughts through my mind and even the fact that I'm experiencing in the midst of the pain there's so much peace and in the midst of the grief there's so much love and there's and I'm starting to find joy again already not to the extent that I had before, obviously on February 16th, but I know it's coming back and I know it's going to be even deeper and bigger.

MayaLila: 48:45

It's such a part of life and it's something that we avoid as a society, and I think that's why we are schizophrenic and crazy, because everybody runs around acting like they have all the time in the world, runs around acting like they have all the time in the world, and the truth is, what nobody wants to really acknowledge is that we never know when the period comes at the end of the sentence of our life that like this is it of our physical life. And then we take that energetic self and we get to the other side of. Yes, this is an illusion, this is a video game. My son knew that we talked about this all the time. He was a very highly conscious being for being so young, which is why he didn't have to stay here so long. He didn't have to be here that long, and his experience here of leaving so soon has broke me so open.

MayaLila: 49:33

And now what I'm experiencing is not only synchronicities constantly that I know it's him. I mean, that are just crazy. I would have to be insane to say this is a coincidence, right. And now it's like this feeling is happening inside of me, where I can energetically feel him, that when I go into grief or crying and I say his name, I will get this warm, melting sensation that comes from right here I'm touching my heart and my solar plexus, that whole region of just pure love and peace that melts over my body, and I've had a near-death experience right there. So I also have that gift of having a near-death experience in trying to take my own life when I was 21. And so it's like I've never wondered if there's life on the other side. I know there is, but when you lose somebody that you love in the physical, there's different ways of handling it. There's different ways of handling that experience, and I think I'm handling it in a way that not very many people do, which definitely makes other people look at me like I'm not normal.

MayaLila: 50:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And two days before your son relocated, a friend of mine, her son, also relocated and he was 18 months and she had, has had, she's had five kids, free birth them, unschooled them. They were traveling the world. They've been traveling the world for a few years.

MayaLila: 50:58

At that point, so this 18 month old baby had been to already I don't know 12 countries and just had what's, surrounded by his siblings, like so much, like such a beautiful, like profound, rich 18 months of life and just this little light star being and she's, she's handling it the way you are, and I would love for you to to get on a podcast and talk about this because, like there's no deeper grief, I think, than a mother that loses a son and for you guys to be have already been fairly awakened before it happened and then to be taking it as this like fucking rocket launch into expansion and truth and openness. Like when people see you, they're like okay, like I can't pretend anymore and and people can feel the truth of what you're sharing. You know, and it's, it challenges the standard status quo, schizophrenic reality of like no, none of that shit's real. It's like no, it is real and we all need to wake the fuck up to that. It's real and life is short.

MayaLila: 52:04

There's more than just the material plane and in love never dies, it doesn't go anywhere. You are a soul and this life is precious. You have this one life as you in all of time and space and eternity and even with multiple timelines like. There's only this one singular experience of you in this lifetime, in this moment. What are you going to do with it? You're not here to get some job. You fucking hate and watch TV until you die.

MayaLila: 52:33

Oh amen, sister. And you know, that's the biggest thing too in Weston's transition is I feel like a part of my soul always knew he wasn't going to be here very long. There's like a sense in my soul of a familiarity, like I somehow always knew, and, in reality, of physical reality, none of us are here that long. We're here, our lives are like a fireflies light, like you're gone and so, yeah, what are you going to do with it? And it's like and I I know that Weston would be so mad if I was laying in bed crying and being like, oh, I can't get out of bed and I'm not judging anybody's experience of grief. I just know that for me and what I know to negate and go against that trust, against that, to listen to this head, to listen to my mind, which I shared on, I share my journey openly on Instagram and I had said, you know, I realized that I'm there's a voice in my head that pops in, that's judging my own grief experience of and it says the most awful things, but I don't judge it. I'm like, well, that's an interesting thought and I realized it's just my thoughts trying to and and maybe some of them aren't even mine they could be those energetic attachments that are like let's try this entry into the you know, like into this being, and see if we could tear her down. And I'm like no, there's beauty in everything and that this human life, this human journey is, is for our soul. We are souls in a body, here to fully express as only we can. Just like you said, there's never going to be another me, there's never going to be another you, never.

MayaLila: 54:11

When we really stand and look at the, at the immense gift that it is to be in a body and I have it as energetic beings that it's like it's like a fish getting caught in a net, right that we're like we're going really fast in our energy and then all of a sudden we're like we get to have this really slow experience called life on earth and then we're gonna leave it again, right?

MayaLila: 54:35

What do we do with that? What do we do with this experience While we're here? How do we, how do we say yes to our dreams? How do we say yes to what is calling our hearts forward? And you said it takes courage, and I love the word courage, because courage means to be of heart, it really means to listen to your heart and not that mind that does seek to think it's real, to to think the body is real, to think that what society says is real, to what our government says is real, what the media says is real, that all these division tactics are real, when none of that is real. It's all bullshit and none of it matters.

MayaLila: 55:10

And it's all the game.

MayaLila: 55:11

It's all the game of remembering that we're God and goddess incarnate. And there's this teacher I love of Kabbalah called David Guillaume, and he calls Satan Satan. However they say it, he's the opponent. And again, it's like when you're playing a sport you want a good opponent. You need a good opponent, yeah, to get stronger, to increase your capacity to level up. And so I love this presentation of this earth experience and like entities and Satan or whatever it's not, they're not this evil thing and the bad guy la la, it's like they're your opponent and what your task is, what the game is, is to open your heart more, increase your capacity to love, increase your capacity to hold more light and beam more light against the darkness. And so I just love that reframing of like, oh, like, satan is just the opponent and he's part of your game. He's the bad guy in your movie, but then when you're done filming and like brad pitt is playing satan, then you guys go out for sandwiches like it's not this horrible fraught thing, but that's the game, like that's the point is to make us think that it is.

MayaLila: 56:25

So then we have this experience of like riding on the roller coaster and thinking we're gonna die and go to hell.

MayaLila: 56:30

So there's that, and then also there's this quote that I love from one of my mentors, j Josh rocks, and he says pain is just unfinished beauty. And I, whenever we're in pain and suffering, like that's, that's, it's totally valid and it's totally real and it it deserves our, our honoring and our attention and our full embodiment and like fully experiencing and feeling whatever that is, the pain, the fear, the anger, the sadness. But then we keep going and it turns into beauty. It always turns into beauty, because we live in this like two-sided coin, dualistic world where it's all one thing and so, you know, the darkness holds, the. We wouldn't see the stars if the sky, when the sun's out and the sky's all bright, you don't see any stars, and so the darkness again, it's not a bad thing, it's not negative, it's not even, yeah, it's not this evil thing we make it out to be. It's just part of the whole beautiful experience of duality of this world.

MayaLila: 57:38

Yeah, and we do live in a duality of this world. Yeah, and we do live in a in a dual nature in the world. And and actually I make it my practice to try to be not try, I make it my practice to practice non-duality of seeing that end point, like if you're there's two sides of the coin, to sit on the edge where I could see like, oh, there's the dark over there, there's the light over there. What choice will I make for myself, what choice will I make for my life? And to be able to hold both of those, because I am equal parts darkness and equal parts light. I've been to the dark, I've been to the depths of hell, literally in my life, and being there has propelled me to go even more into the light.

MayaLila: 58:21

And that's the alchemy of being human, and something that I love to just say is we're here to be fully human and fully divine.

MayaLila: 58:30

And so the fully human part is completely experiencing and again honoring all of the darkness, all of the pain, all the sadness, all the grief, because that's what makes life so sweet. And, like you were saying, grief and love are the same thing. Grief is a celebration of love and it's a completion of that form or stage of love. But love never dies, love never ends, and so the grief is like this celebration of the completion of that phase, of this experience of life. And so the fully human side gets to experience all of the darkness and all the light of being human. And that's what we're here for. And so I'm a somatic therapist and I love going into the darkness and into those I'm now calling them exhale emotions. So again, all of the contractive, negative emotions are just the exhale. It's when your body's like shrinking down and you're like, oh my.

MayaLila: 59:30

God, I'm alone in the universe and I'm going to die and nobody loves me and I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. It's the shrinking down and then, from that exhale, then we move into the expansion, and the expansion, the inhale always comes after the exhale and you can't keep inhaling forever as a human. You're going to die. You need to exhale, and then you need to inhale you need both, and so it's this dance between the contraction and the expansion, and our society always wants to stay in the endless expansion.

MayaLila: 1:00:01

It never wants to exhale and we can't do that. It's not working. It doesn't work.

MayaLila: 1:00:06

No, it doesn't, and it's driving people mad, trying to seek something, seek for happiness, seek for meaning outside of themselves. You'll never find it there. You'll never find it there. You wind up chasing forever. Yeah.

MayaLila: 1:00:20

You just never fully are alive because you're not going into the pain and then you're not fully experiencing the joy either. Like we, you got to go into the darkness to fully experience the light and to increase your capacity to experience love. And yeah, a friend said once something like grief is one of the only emotions that actually digs your capacity grief deeper, like your capacity to love is expanded by grief.

MayaLila: 1:00:46

A hundred percent.

MayaLila: 1:00:47

So a lot of people I feel like are stuck, not breathing or barely breathing. We're like they'll barely get sad, but they'll barely experience joy and happiness either. And so they're in this like state of freeze and working a job they hate and watching TV and not living their dreams because they're afraid of going through the discomfort of feeling.

MayaLila: 1:01:10

Yeah, and I think that's the worst kind of grief, and if you listen to death doulas and people who do this work for a living, that the thing that people most say at the end of their life is they regret all the things they did not do. Yeah.

MayaLila: 1:01:24

Yeah, and it's not in the, it's not in the stuff, it's not in the. Oh, I'm so glad I watched that. I binge watched that whole Netflix series that weekend Gosh, that was so great. I'm so glad I did that. Like I'm never gonna say that on my deathbed. And so this is so such a beautiful conversation of following your dreams, listening to your heart, and that really is the work of coming into the body. You have to be embodied In order to listen to those other two brains, our gut and our heart, not just the thinking mind that is picking up messages that are not generated from inside of you. Those are messages that can come from outside of you just as much.

MayaLila: 1:02:02

Or have been programmed by conditioning. Yes. Like all of the years of our parents, what they were telling us, our peers, our schooling system, our media is conditioning your brain to think in certain patterns that are not written or built for human thriving.

MayaLila: 1:02:16

Absolutely yeah, Maya. Where can people find you and your work that you're doing in the world?

MayaLila: 1:02:22

So I'm most active on Instagram and I'm the only Maya Lila DeVento in the world. So if you just Google Maya Lila DeVento, you'll find my Instagram. I'm getting more active on YouTube and then I have a website that's pretty brief and I'm still figuring out my life and like what I'm here to do. Like I know I'm here to do this stuff.

MayaLila: 1:02:45

Yeah.

MayaLila: 1:02:45

Talk about the divine and I'm kind of I've been kind of the spiritual counselor spiritual counselor for a decade now because I am able to hold like a super high perspective and I just love humans so much and I love life and and so, yeah, I do transformational coaching and spiritual counseling, but I'm still figuring out. I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing.

MayaLila: 1:03:09

Well, and do any of us really I mean like the, as when we're in on this divine walk, I am well aware that to go with the will of my soul, to follow the will that's connected to something far greater than I, requires that I have to trust in that the path that I think I'm on might just all of a sudden be like Nope, you're going over here, so I love that you, you're doing it.

MayaLila: 1:03:33

I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm living in Vietnam right now. We've I've been traveling with my daughters since last July, and then we lived in Italy, we lived in Greece, we lived in Thailand, we lived in Vietnam. I honestly don't know where we're going next, and so we're here for now, and the things that have been lighting me up lately is feminine embodiment, like learning how to be a woman in our society because we're women.

MayaLila: 1:03:57

women are so fucked and just basically conditioned to be toxic, wounded men at the same time, and it took me decades to learn how to be a woman and in my feminine and I'm still working on it because I used to be super pushy, aggressive, defended, you know I was I was operating in my wounded masculine and so, um, I, I'm starting now to figure out like okay, like how to teach women to be in their divine feminine rather than in their masculine, and embody their radiance and experiencing life as, like a, as a reflection and magnetism of your own radiance, and it gets a lot more fun and easy. And then also just divine embodiment, like becoming God and developing our relationship with God, because most of sight again, either doesn't believe in God or, if they do, they treat God like a narcissist.

MayaLila: 1:04:52

Yeah, so it's like this battle against the divine that's trying to punish you or trying to teach you lessons, like there's a lot there. And then also, I'm very interested. I feel like this time that we're in of awakening is also related to divine union or divine reunion in relationships, and so I feel like we're being called to heal our own inner masculine and feminine.

MayaLila: 1:05:14

And then we're also being called. A lot of people I know are being called into conscious relationships and like how do you do that? How do you make it work? How do you communicate in like the higher aspects rather than in our wounding? Because I was never given a template or any examples of a healthy relationship between a man and a woman. My parents tried to kill each other in front of me when I was four.

MayaLila: 1:05:36

So, that's a big thing that's coming up and I feel like we're moving towards this divine reunion, within and without, and so I love that topic of just yeah, how to do that and how to make our relationship with ourself work and feel good, and how to make our relationships, our intimate relationships, work and feel good.

MayaLila: 1:06:03

So so beautiful I was. I went and had lunch the other day with a couple and I just loved what he said about masculine, feminine and their spiritual couple, as as my husband and I are, and so we were having a really deep, beautiful conversation and he said, uh, we're talking about, like, men and women and coupling and really sacred relationships. And he said, oh, it's very simple, women are life and men are the protectors of that life, and I loved that.

MayaLila: 1:06:29

Yeah, beautiful.

MayaLila: 1:06:30

Yeah, well, thank you so much for joining me on this show and this conversation has been really powerful, really beautiful, and I have your links down below where people can find you, and I just wish you such a beautiful rest of your day and thank you for being here.

MayaLila: 1:06:47

Thank you, and thank you for showing up in like your grief and in this huge opening that you're going through, in this, like it's amazing. Um, I'm what you're. You know, what you're sharing on on social media is just so powerful and moving, and I've, I've been calling cause, you know, I know you and my friend who lost her son, but then there was a bunch of other deaths that kind of popped off around the same time and I'm calling death now light explosions, because I feel like whenever someone dies, especially a child or someone young, especially these souls who are like, so alive, and then they die when they're like 28. And you're like, why did they die so young? It's because it's like this massive light explosion and again it's like a reminder for all of us to like massive light explosion and again it's like a reminder for all of us to like wake the fuck up, like truly live, and so thank you for taking this light explosion and just going with it and amplifying it.

MayaLila: 1:07:47

Thank you for that. I appreciate it Much love.

MayaLila: 1:07:51

Thank you.

Joya: 1:07:51

Thank you for listening to. We Woke Up Like this. I would appreciate a like, a subscribe and a follow wherever you listen to this podcast. Thank you so much.