Joya: 0:06

today on, we woke up like this. I am speaking to the beautiful and gifted andrea carella. Andrea is a sought after trauma-informed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience in the field and is the best-selling author of the book no Longer Burned Out on Busy. She developed the freedom method and the care approach to facilitate her clients' healing somatic release, resiliency, strengthening, self-love, nurturing and a return to wholeness, higher consciousness, expansion and embodiment.

Joya: 0:41

Recognizing that her unique approach to holistic trauma-informed treatment was not commonplace, she decided to create the Holistic Healers Academy, where she trains and mentors therapists, healers and wellness professionals over the course of 10 months to experience the personal benefits of a trauma approach which nurtures and honors one's whole body, spirit, heart and mind, and to learn how to incorporate these effective and cutting edge approaches to supporting their current and future clients. As part of her academy, mentees also attend quarterly in-person gatherings where they undergo their own ketamine assisted psychotherapy experience, as well as learning how to support and hold space for others going through their own ketamine-assisted psychotherapy experience, as well as learning how to support and hold space for others going through their own process. She teaches how to prepare for the discovery session, facilitate the discovery session and utilize the power of integration. Phase of treatment. Andrea, I'm so honored to have you here with me and I also love your tagline, which I want to say nurturing hearts, transforming lives, enhancing well-being.

Andrea: 1:50

Thank you for having me. It's such a joy to be with you.

Joya: 1:58

Oh my gosh, it's so exciting to have you here. And before we start, I just want to say how we met, because it was so unique and so unusual, and we met while waiting in line to hug Ama the hugging saint.

Andrea: 2:09

Yes, you were number 10 in line and I was number 11.

Joya: 2:14

And we probably got there like six in the morning, we did, and we just started talking and completely hit it off. And then, of course, as you do with people, that you meet in other states and in lines and all of those things like, oh, let's stay in touch. And then we didn't. And then, many months later, I was asked by a friend of mine to facilitate a sound bath for her friend who was coming into town. And guess who that friend was? No coincidences, right, there are not. And we immediately just said, okay, there's a reason that we met and we're supposed to stay in touch, and so that, as we've been talking, I instantly, as I got to know you better, asked you to be on my podcast, and I'm so honored that you said yes.

Andrea: 2:58

so thank you so I love the work that you're doing in the world and your resonance, your frequency, you know it really resonates with me and with so many. So I'm glad that we came back into the same sphere once again, in a different state this time.

Joya: 3:16

Yeah, me too, and I'm really excited to have you being in this beginning series of talks for this year, because this whole year is about embodiment, liberating your true self, embodying your true self, and so for you to be kicking us off with talking about what does self liberation mean? What is that whole topic? I mean, it's a big topic, but you, as a therapist, you've been in this work for a long time. What does that mean to you for self-liberation? What does that even mean?

Andrea: 3:47

You know, the reality is is that we come into this world with a truth, with an essence, with a frequency, with a heart, and things happen along the way. We get bumped, we get bruised, we get different narratives in the social scape unconsciousness, people withholding love narratives, all this stuff that gets really confusing and gets us really either disconnected, anxious in our head, trying to figure things out, and we lose touch with that authentic essence and truth of who we are that lives in and abides and resides in our heart and in our soul. And so that is the first place to really return back to ultimately is to really be intimate with those spaces and places in our heart and in our soul where we disconnected from, to figure things out that led to our own oppression, repression, depression and, yeah, so liberating ourselves is really remembering what we forgot. Ultimately, remembering what we forgot oh.

Joya: 5:10

I love that and I actually just had that. I wrote that in a talk that I'm working, that it's actually like health, a true healing is returning to the self we were not allowed to be was kind of the way that I had it. That it's like, oh yeah, it's all these things that you know. As I dug into my own story that I was like you know what's beneath that and you know, when you start doing the work it starts getting deeper and you're like what's beneath that? What's beneath that? And and at the bottom of those feelings, I realized there was this feeling of it's not okay to be who you are. Who you are needs to be different, and that message, of course, came from my environment.

Andrea: 5:50

Yes, and I and what I think it comes down to is not being understood, for the unique essence that you are and it's our responsibility, if we want to be healthy, whole and free, is to return back to those spaces that got misfiled, misorganized, even, not just from others, but how we we oppressed ourselves or rejected ourselves. And so going back to those spaces and places and bringing love to places and spaces where love was denied or presence wasn't, met in that moment with curiosity.

Joya: 6:31

So we get to do that, we get to extend that curiosity and compassion for the places that were rejected or misunderstood, and I find I've found on my work, my journey and I'm curious if you find this too that those places that I'm self rejecting, that I am self abandoning, are those exact same places that need to be looked at and need to be loved Totally and I think sometimes there's these protections that are there, that that came to protect those vulnerable places and spaces inside of ourselves.

Andrea: 7:10

So even just even having that awareness that right there, right next to that vulnerability, may be a protective mechanism of reaction, or may be a protective mechanism of fear and avoidance, or maybe right there of you know, managing, micromanaging and trying to be perfect, right Like it might be right there, and so that part also needs love and a vacation.

Joya: 7:43

All the parts of me need love and a vacation. I'm just gonna say and just being grateful.

Andrea: 7:48

like you know, I'm grateful for this perfectionist part that went up into my head to figure things out and to be in strategy and skillful navigation right, and sometimes you know that's all in well and good, but if we live and keep reinforcing that, we're still reinforcing that.

Joya: 8:10

I need that, and so even peeling back the layers of like and what's that part that felt vulnerable, the more that we can get intimate with that vulnerability at the root of our heart, where love, the juncture between pain and love that lives in our heart and extend love there and curiosity and stillness yeah, I found that so much of doing the work is being willing to just be present with what is, even when it completely sucks, without needing to change it, without feeling like I need to change it, and not necessarily that I'm going through it so much as I'm accepting like it feels like, the more that I can just go into loving acceptance and switch into, instead of self judgment, switch into self kindness, self-judgment switch into self-kindness, that it seems to start to lose its tightness that it has on me.

Andrea: 9:09

Yeah, it's true, I, and I think that's where this is a beautiful time of year. You know, winter solstice it's, it's really a time. It's interesting how it's become very commercialized. It's just all about the movement but and this and that and the celebration and the going here and going there, but really, ultimately, winter solstice is, in its purest of senses, is a quiet time, a time of of darkness and stillness and turning inward and quiet and allowing the light to meet us there in the dark, to be able to be in the dark and to see. And if we don't slow down enough or get still enough or get turned inward enough, we're going to miss this beautiful gift of this time. So I love that you're doing having this conversation about liberation, because sometimes, in order to go far, we have to go inward and we have to slow down.

Joya: 10:07

Yes, that's kind of the paradox of it. Right, it is. Yeah, yeah, it's a paradox, for sure, and it does feel like it's a. It's a big slowing down and I, you know, as as we, we are in winter and I'm like I'm here in Arizona and I was just telling you it's so hot, it's probably 80 degrees outside today it's so cold, so it doesn't to me like rhythmically. I'm talking about right In the rhythm of life, in the rhythm of the seasons, in the rhythm of how I'm trying to move, which is much more slowly and more rhythmically paced with nature. It's hard when it's like this, where it's like it feels like it's summertime, I'm in my busy time, but the reality is, yeah, it is the time to slow down, to be quiet, to go inward, to um, to go at that slower pace where we just kind of take a pause and look inside the power of the pause.

Andrea: 11:01

Yes, yeah, I mentioned that in my book no Longer Burnt Out. I'm Busy Because oftentimes like for me, from what I saw as the through line with in working with trauma is busyness is a trauma response. And you know, not only can we have individual trauma, but we can have collective trauma that we're dealing with right, where we don't want to be intimate with the discomfort of something, and so we get busy to give us a false sense of movement and resolution when maybe we have to sit in the discomfort and expand our capacity to be with what is to be, with what's uncomfortable, so that we can grow, so we can actually not be intimidated by the discomfort but sit with the discomfort, be curious about the discomfort and seek to understand or connect to and breathe through, and there's something magical that happens when we do that, when we actually allow ourselves to trust that and cocoon ourselves ultimately in that kind of that discomfort. We sit with it long enough. At least I found this out for myself is being in it If you sit with it long enough and you allow yourself to expand at least I found this out for myself is being in it If you sit with it long enough and you allow yourself to expand in the capacity to be with it.

Andrea: 12:31

Love meets you there, light meets you there. There's just a stillness that you get, but you, if you're too busy, you're never going to experience that. That comfort that comes and be. It's very subtle. It's very subtle and yeah, there's something really beautiful about that. Even in a dark moment or even in a hard moment, if we get still enough and quiet enough and are present enough with it and just authentic with that, then something else meets us there in that place, in our heart.

Joya: 13:07

Yeah, yeah, I love that. That is so beautiful. That's so beautiful and it feels. You know, as you're saying that, that it is this very subtle love meets you there. And you know one of my favorite quotes about trauma and I want to dive into trauma because so many people now are really starting to do the deeper work, they're starting to real and, at least in my sphere, in my world, people are really starting to now take a look and stop with the blaming and that it's out there and starting to look in here and saying, not in blame, but in what in me is asking for help and healing. Healing that I just keep repeating self-sabotaging cycles or I'm chronically busy, or I'm in these crappy relationships with people that are causing all this drama and chaos. And you, you start to kind of really literally your, as your frequency changes, you kind of just don't resonate with it anymore. But that doesn't mean it's easy, that does not mean it's easy.

Andrea: 14:07

It's not easy, and I think that, the more that we can be in an authentic, healthy, functional, loving relationship with ourselves, where we actually meet ourselves with all the spaces and places and parts of us, and even our shadow self, even our inconvenient parts of ourselves, like the parts of us that we're you know that and a lot of times, what we ever we see out there that we dislike is also an indication of like. Where do I reject that in myself or or deny that? That lives inside of me too, and I think there's a freedom when we can even extend compassion to that out there that also not just, maybe most likely does abide and reside inside of me too. And the polarity of whatever that is too the other side of that. And when you're still and quiet and you slow it down, you're not just at the mercy of the emotional, reactionary response. You can actually respond instead of react.

Andrea: 15:17

And I think that's where slowing down, pumping the brakes, even as the world is having its own pumping the brakes, like even as the world is having its own hypnotic trance of shame and blame and judgment, and you and that, and just like whoa, what made you think that? What's that? You know what? What was that like for you? Yeah, where, where are you coming from? And opening up a space of, of true empathy? You know where you can actually, but not everyone can even have that level of connection and conversation, right? So what do you do in those moments where you're being skillful and wise and creating a space and an invitation for that diplomatic, open, skillful, effective, heart-to-heart conversation where the other person's functioning at a different level of consciousness because they're just either they don't know what they don't know, or they're not interested, or you know. And then how do you untangle yourself from that so you can stay in authentic relationship with the frequency that you're committed to operating from and living from.

Andrea: 16:29

And sometimes that requires us to take a step back so that we can stay in authentic love of ourselves and authentic love of the other person when they're not being loving towards themselves or us, or there's kind of a an energetics there that you're just like, I'll just, why don't we, why don't we just pause here, like this isn't going to go anywhere effective?

Joya: 16:50

Yeah, yeah, and that's I mean again with the pause again, right, that it could be like we don't have to engage, we can agree to disagree. You said a loving healthy relationship with ourself.

Andrea: 17:07

What does that look like? You know? I, for me, what it looks like is the feeling of the resonance you know of in a, in a cabin, of feeling peaceful, of going for a walk outside, surrounded by trees, being by nature laughing with my kids hugging, my husband cocooning in my really beautiful warm, cozy comforter, listening to meditation. That really elevates me and, yeah, and that's that's what it is, anything that that creates that. And connecting with a friend, having you know this synergy. Uh, it's like, yes, thank you, more please. Like I want more of that in my life. And and as, as you go through and see, like, what matches that and what can't, that's important to notice, to move towards what elevates that and reinforces that, and and be able to move away from and discern, use impeccable discernment of get to choose. I get to consciously choose. You know what frequency I want to radiate at and maintain, and then what things pull me, pull me in a different direction, that that enter me into a different frequency that I I'm not interested in operating from or surrounding myself with.

Joya: 18:43

Yeah, what role? I'm curious, what role does self-trust play in cultivating that healthy relationship with yourself?

Andrea: 18:56

Well, I think self-trust is and self-trust, you know it's very interesting is you know what are the foundations that we have, where the trust in our own knowing was supported by others and where I think it's hard for us to trust ourselves is where, maybe situationally or frequently, other people forced you to override your own knowing. And I think that's where it gets really confusing, because as kids, we're attached, we're attached to our family and we need them to survive. And if they needed a compliant child or they judged you or took away love, if you were a defiant child, then it's going to be really tricky to trust yourself because someone in the system can't tolerate or hold space for your unique essence or your own unique way, or even meet you with curiosity and understanding right. So if that didn't happen, then the trusting of self is going to feel a little unstable or emotionally confusing or there's a codependency that's there. There's a skewed attachment, conditional loving, all mixed together and that's going to make trusting ourselves complicated.

Andrea: 20:23

So untangling ourselves from that is and returning back to trusting ourselves is going to all those places and places where you didn't trust yourself or you overrode your knowingness or somebody else required you in order to be in a connected relationship to override your own inner knowingness. To override your own inner knowingness because or you wanted to avoid conflict in that moment, or you didn't feel strong enough, or you didn't feel that the person was receptive enough. Now you see how complex trusting ourselves can be if it wasn't, we weren't in secure relationships that honored and nurtured our inner knowing, and so we have to go back to those spaces and places and meet ourselves there and be the parent, be the sibling, be the meet that part, and say hey, I get you, I know.

Andrea: 21:20

Yeah, and I feel like this is where the work that you're doing with no-transcript, back into the vulnerability of the heart, where the wound lives of like not being not being loved, not being met with curiosity, patience, presence, assisted psychotherapy really opens up a window of tolerance that we can go back to those spaces and places without feeling overwhelmed or kicking into those, those mechanisms to try to get into our head, cause that's a very common thing when we go back into our heart, we're going to go back into, like, our head, because our head helped us survive and figure things out, and so that mechanism is going to like in a way, help you, but it also now gets in the way of the deeper layers of intimacy and vulnerability, and that's that's what we need is be able to go back to those spaces and places and feel that we can create safety again in those moments in inside of ourselves, in those tender places and spaces in our heart, and create unconditional love and compassion and wisdom, a perspective, and to see those parts of ourselves that were unseen by others or misunderstood, and understand.

Andrea: 23:26

And there's a beautiful healing that happens there, that's embodied, you know it's in you, yes, and then your capacity to meet other people in that way expands as well.

Joya: 23:38

I did have a plant, a plant journey that got me in touch with my little girl self, who she I could feel like. I could feel it took me. It took me right back to being in that place and and remembering, because, like as an adult, you forget, like we, I blocked off how I felt as a child, right, but when I encountered this little self, I could feel all the things that she was going through and I could also feel how freaking strong she was. I was like holy cow, this little girl is a force. And she told me she's. And she just said to me you need to grieve because I didn't have time to. Oh yeah, and it the. And then I just sobbed in like for like two hours. It was ridiculous.

Andrea: 24:28

I was in my backyard under a tree, just sobbing and just crying and without the story right, it was just like cleansing feelings without the story and that that, yeah, sometimes the story or processing the story thinks we're, we think we're actually getting somewhere, but actually just being there in the release, in the sacred baptism of our tears, you know, that you honored, that finally had an opportunity to be witnessed and to be held and to feel safe enough to release, to be present, present to and presence.

Andrea: 25:07

There's an incredible lightness that opens up, I would imagine.

Andrea: 25:13

I know for me, like the shaking, like the discharge from the body, from the nervous system, just hours, just hours of just, yeah, moving all that energy of fear that you know, or that holding, you know, that you didn't even really realize was there, that you gets to finally move through.

Andrea: 25:38

And a lot of times it can also be ancestral epigenetics that you're holding, that you might be, especially if you're a sensitive empath, you could actually be a surrogate, have made yourself a surrogate for the energies and the patterns of the system of your family of origin, which is holding a lot of energy that's not even just ours, right? So there's also an opportunity where there's that safety that opens up in the nervous system, with the support of the nature, that allows us to return to our true nature, independent of story, independent of this epigenetics, an opening of release. And okay, what's here? What is my? Who am I? What am I? Independent of this story, independent of this energy that I've been holding onto, that was maybe not even mine, and there's a freedom that happens in that, that, that liberation of like oh, oh, there I am, yeah, oh, that's you, that's oh okay, and sometimes, if you don't, you know, it just opens up that space of, of perception and perspective.

Joya: 26:58

And I found for me that and this is the part two of the question is in going through that experience and clearing that out, finding that inner freedom and that liberation of clearing out all that space, like there was so much grief that was stuck in, stored in there, that once that was free, it's like, oh, I've got all this space in my heart now that, taken up with all this grief that it kind of naturally formed, I guess it's a boundary it would be the perfect word because it formed like a boundary in me. That's like an energetic boundary that I don't cross and I feel like that if I don't cross my own boundary, I don't need to tell other people not to cross it. It's like it's not an issue, it's my boundary.

Andrea: 27:41

Right, right, there's a there's a sovereignty that's the perfect word sovereignty. There's a sovereignty that, when you go back to those spaces and places of fragmentation ultimately of ourselves, that an exiled part, for whatever reason somebody exiled, or we exiled, or whatever and a protective part of us or a management part of us or firefighter part of us, comes in. Right, that requires a lot of energy. There's a lot of energy, maybe even unconsciously, that stays stuck in a gear. Even if it's past that moment in time, we're still operating in that gear in that way for decades, right? And so what it allows us to do is like go back to that space, unlock that access point, unlock that protective mechanism that allows us to be like bring that past into the present, move through it energetically, physiologically. Energetically physiologically through breath, movement, sound, and then we've like we've come back for ourselves, we went back for ourselves.

Joya: 28:53

Oh, I love that we went back for ourselves.

Andrea: 28:55

We went back for ourselves. I'm coming back for you. You're not stuck in that memory anymore, with those coping mechanisms that were great at the time, and I honor you and I'm grateful for you that you were there for me in the way that I needed. And I'm coming back for you and I'm going to provide safety for you, love you unconditionally and I'm going to guide you and see you with wisdom from my heart and my soul and we're going to do this together from this point forward, and what happens is there's an integration that happens and it's. You know, I think sometimes, when we get become adults, we think we still need our parent or whoever, whoever, to be what we need them to be. But who we're really waiting for is that part of us to come back and be there with us and to see us and know us. And there's just a beautiful liberation to that that you don't even need someone else to be healthier or healed because you can return back to wholeness by returning back to yourself, those tender places.

Joya: 30:20

That is so beautiful. I love that. I feel like I want to do a little winter solstice practice and you know, and thinking, and also thinking about just from time, from a quantum point of view, it's like I can go talk to my little self right now. I could write her a letter and say, hey, I'm back for you. I'm promise I'm coming back for you. It's like oh, how precious is that. I just love that so much. That really touched my heart.

Andrea: 30:47

Oh yeah, and you know it's interesting. For the longest time, you know, I was doing things you know, inner family systems and and accessing and connecting with it with my mind. But it wasn't until I really like, allowed myself to into me. I see intimacy and vulnerability from my heart to that heart. That's when things like deepened, where the real it wasn't just theoretical, it wasn't like I'm going through the mechanics and doing the strategy, exercising, exercising the skillfulness. It was really about fostering an intimate relationship with the authentic essence of that moment, with the authentic essence of my heart, moment together. And that's when it felt really genuine and authentic. It wasn't just a strategy, it was. It was heart to heart, re reunion, ultimately like a reunion, yeah.

Joya: 31:54

And you know, I know for me and probably and probably for so many other people too, that, having gone through and it doesn't even matter how much trauma you went through, right, because, as I love Dr Peter Levine's quote about trauma when he said it's not what happens to us, it's what we're holding inside in the absence of an empathetic witness. And so I feel like one person's trauma could be just as traumatic as another person's trauma, depending on how they've interpreted that experience within themselves and they're holding it inside right. So I feel like, having done that work, there was a place I got stuck for a long time and that was in the intellectualizing of things, and I saw something recently that said, if you're stuck in your brain, it's because your emotions are shut off, and I'm curious about if you think that's true.

Andrea: 32:46

Well, I think that part of why we jumped into our head in the first place is because our heart got injured, and so it became a very safe strategy to disengage here and go over here and again it's. It gets stuck in a gear and going back into trusting ourselves, going back to trust and is going back to those spaces that didn't feel very safe to be in. And the first time. Because if we come in as as open-hearted people and then we're sensitive beings in an insensitive environment, it makes sense that we would contract. That's actually smart, right, exactly. I mean, that's what jellyfish do, you know. They do this and then they do this and to be able to do this and do this. But what happens is is we do this and then we go here and then we're kind of in this protective shell, but then we also don't let joy come in, right, we keep this here, but we also keep this, know, keep this from injuring us again. So we're going into scan mode, but then we also are not experiencing the full capacity of joy either, Right?

Joya: 34:18

So yeah, so we get to be the other part's shut down too.

Andrea: 34:25

Yeah, it can. Yeah, because it didn't feel safe to feel like, because the feelings either happened too much, too fast, too soon or, you know, we were disconnected from ourself, the present moment, uh, support system and our and our body right. So that's actually a very innate intelligence that we have inside of us that kicks in the gear for self-preservation. The challenge is is that when that gear stays stuck in self-preservation, we form other personality traits and ways of operating to either numb or control or dominate or react as kind of these secondary mechanisms, and that gets us further and further away from our authentic self, not closer, because we've we've been so impacted by that and it just we perpetuate our trauma in that way.

Andrea: 35:17

So how we can unhook ourselves from that and create a pattern interruption, ultimately, is to have the courage which comes from corazón core, which is our heart, you know. To have the courage to go back into the space that did not feel safe and to create safety there. Go back into a space where there was a withholding of love because of somebody else's trauma, story, narrative perception, that wasn't seeing the truth of love and light right in front of their face. Yeah, and I get to go back and acknowledge that you were innocent, pure love, light, joy. You were bringing an opportunity to this system that was not able to hold that or find that within themselves because they forgot who they are and where they come from which is love, yeah, and they just, you know, and families perpetuate their family patterns because they haven't been taught.

Joya: 36:24

And up until like our generation or maybe the generation before, like people going to therapy, people talking about these things, most people didn't. It was kind of like what stays in the family stays in the family and closed doors. And I know for me and I'm curious too if you find this in your clients when I freed myself, well, what really helped me to free was starting to do the embodiment work, because then I was like, okay, there's, this is beyond my logical mind. I teach mindfulness, I do all these things, but I'm still doing this automatic behavior with that that seems like it feels like a robot or some part of me that takes over that I have no control over. And when I started asking what that was, I started like going into my body and feeling where it was and I realized that its root was anxiety sitting in my solar plexus and that the anxiety was equal in the amount of the feeling of anxiety, as if something terrible were happening to me when something really great was happening to me, but my nervous system would not allow it.

Andrea: 37:32

Right, right, it runs up and down the same nervous system. Excitement and fear go up and down the same highway in our nervous system, and so that the discernment, the nervous system, can't discern whether you're just excited about something or scared of something, and so that gets kind of coupled together in this kind of confusing way. Yeah, and I think it also goes. It's interesting, the solar plex, because solar plex is our power, you know, know. So where is it that the environment had power over us or we? We gave away our power to appease or please, or comply, or that we didn't, weren't strong enough to be in our authentic power and people to hold space for that kind of power, that Royal power within and nurture that. And you're curious about that, right? So that's where I would go with that exploration and this power, this power center. You know it's the, the center, the seat of life, it's the heart. But it's also here, like, where these places the heart and the power, they're neighbors, they go together. They go together. That's a very common thing, at least, as I've found in my own processes how to bring the energy from the earth to root me in this. You know, clear out the fear-based and bring in this earth-based anchoring and then also this light energy pushing, you know, pouring through and it's interesting as things kind of clear up and down. This is kind of a really interesting juncture point where the ethereal body is wanting to push down and the primal body is wanting to be updated, you know, and here is like the center tension point of integration where you know we get to play with and be curious about like Ooh, what is? Because we actually have to start remembering and trusting what is that power within me?

Andrea: 39:54

When I was so little that I get to like that seed inside of me and I get to give it optimal, an optimal environment with soil and water and sunshine and, and maybe I don't even know what that even power looks like and feels like and I'm uncertain and I'm unsure, and I get to stay curious, like tell me, tell me who you are, tell me what I am, and yeah, and there's an uncertainty and we, you know the mind wants to like, have certainty, and then it can shut down this, this birthing, right, it's like a seed moment, it's like we are a seed, you know, the seed of life, just like in all things that grow, things that grow, we're, we're not separate from that we're it, our heart is the, is the seed, the seed of life.

Andrea: 40:52

And so if we can look at us as our own sacred geometry portal, conduit of bringing heaven on earth, you know, and that this anchor here is like this frequency and knowing how to bring it through unconscious embodiment practices, how do we use the power of our breath and movement and sound to help bring this frequency into this vessel, sacred vessel, the sacrum, you know this, our sacrum is a sacred vessel. You know and like, how do we play with that energy? How do we bring that energy down? How do we bring that energy up? How do we move it around? How do we expand it out? You know, like that's a lot of energy to generate. And if you're little and nobody guided you how to play with that, and it felt like, and nobody guided you how to play with that, and it felt like, oh, this is. And we get to like, thaw out the ice cube and start looking again.

Joya: 41:53

Oh, I love that thought that I once heard a friend of mine told me every tear is thawing out the ice cube you put around your heart, and I loved that. I was like, oh, it's true, it's like a picture just drip melt, drip, melt. Yeah, I wanted to just say when I was reading your bio I love the way that you're teaching teachers by going through the process themselves and making sure that they're doing the work, because there are so many teachers out there now that are popping up everywhere that are saying all the things but they don not, they don't necessarily have an embodied wisdom and embodied knowing of what it is that they're talking about. So I just wanted to say that I really appreciate and love that you're doing that and that it's such a long process that it's a 10 month program to go through, where some people might be like 10 months, that's a long time, but it's.

Andrea: 42:46

It takes that long to really do the work, you're unlearning and then you're relearning and you know, a lot of times that's why I like the container, because it's a community, right, you're, you're everyone's committed to healing themselves, other people, they're investing the time and what's interesting, that happens in group dynamics is your family system stuff right. So you're not just like in a silo, you get to really use yourself as part of the material process. You know like whoa, what's coming up? I just got triggered. What is that about? Hmm, let me process that in real time in this safe, loving, curious, wise container where we actually can be embodied.

Andrea: 43:36

Right, instead of it's interesting, a lot of you know religious traditions or even educational traditions is like, oh well, I'm here and I'm here now and then that's it. And it's like, well, you know, really it's a process. It's like, hmm, I'm still learning about myself, I'm still growing, I'm still evolving, right, we're never done, otherwise we're dead. So you know, I think there's a shame that can happen like, well, I know and that's, and so I'm done, and then you go teach other people, but then you're not still in the evolutionary process and so, and people feel that, people feel that whether you're really embodied or not, whether you're really devoted, devoted devotion. There's a devotion to growth, I agree. There's an investment of time and commitment and I think that that's as a healer, as a I don't even maybe not even using the word healer right as a, as a guide. I look at it even like as a guide, because even healer needs somebody to be wounded or in you know, it's in your identity, it's part of it.

Andrea: 44:53

It's you're really a guide in that you've gone to spaces and places within yourself that you've explored, that you have understanding of your own darkness and your own light and your own wholeness, and where you're in shadow and when what parts are still getting activated that you're like oh, let me get curious about that. Like I want to be free from just. I want to respond, not react. Or I want to like why am I getting all like stirred up here? Why am I like how am I co-creating? And staying stuck in the muck? Like, ooh, I want to. That's requiring a lot of effort and energy. Like Hmm, yeah.

Andrea: 45:38

Yeah, right, so it's ongoing process of growth, you know, and just that devotion, yeah.

Joya: 45:44

I would say that I guess a teacher, teacher or guide or a facilitator or a person who I would say I create the space for people to be able to do the healing work, to be able to feel safe, to go to go deep within and to and to release whatever's there. And do you feel and this is what I want people listening, who are diving into this work, to doing this work Is this a process that people can go through on their own, or is it more skillfully facilitated in a group or with a coach or with a therapist? What are your thoughts on that?

Andrea: 46:20

I think that there's many different roads to roam.

Andrea: 46:25

I think that there is really an individual process.

Andrea: 46:30

I think that there's an innate healing intelligence that lives inside of all of us and what might work for me may be different from what works for somebody else. And so I think, exploring, trying different things, think exploring trying different things, reading different books, doing as a self-study, see how that resonates, see if you are wired to be more in community, that you really thrive in community and being witnessed and witnessing, having that one-on-one intimate attention where you're really doing this inner work, but feeling safe, like okay, like you're my only witness around these places and spaces, and I'm not really ready for, like to expose that in this group setting right so, but maybe someday I will, and maybe someday, like that'll be a next layer of my growth, or you know so. I think it really is very individual, or you know so, I think it really is very individual, it's very unique, and I the best way is to try different things and see what resonates, what feels like, what you need right now, in that moment, and you'll have the answer, and discovering that.

Joya: 47:42

You get to use your discernment and self-trust.

Andrea: 47:44

I developed that right. You know, it's interesting. There was a moment with a journey that I was going through and it was like the first time that I really allowed myself to be authentically mad. I was like I'm mad. I don't think I was allowed to have a temper tantrum as a kid. Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is backwards. Tantrum as a kid. Everyone else was, but I wasn't, and I was like this is backwards, but I let myself. I broke some rules that I created for myself. I don't ever want to be like that, but I allowed myself to just be in my authentic anger and I don't know my five-year-olds, I don't like that. You were listening to me, right and what I found when I actually allowed myself to be authentic and real with my anger, is that sadness was underneath it and I got to. Really I needed to tap into the anger and allow myself to do that so that I could actually access what was underneath, so that I could actually access what was underneath. And when I did that, it was just like oh, I found parts of myself that I had right that I was able to go back to.

Andrea: 49:02

And it was interesting as I was in that process, I, you know, I ended up doing some work on my own in the garden and I was just, like you know, cuddling myself, and then, all of a sudden, like somebody walked by one of the facilitators and I was like, oh, hi, hi, I need your help with something. And she's like, and she's like, uh, yeah, what do you need? And I was like, can I have a hug? And she said give me, give me one moment, I'll, I'll be right back. And I was like, huh, she didn't give me, give me one moment, I'll be right back. And I was like, huh, she didn't give me the hug that I needed. And I sat there, I was like, okay, and then I went back.

Andrea: 49:33

Then I was like doing this, and then all of a sudden, oh, you don't need the hug from that person, you need that hug from me.

Andrea: 49:50

And so to be a guide is to know when you intervene and when you let the person's own innate healing intelligence come through.

Andrea: 50:04

And that requires a subtle attunement and awareness, because it would have been easy for her to give me a hug, but there was something inside of her, because she was so attuned to herself that she didn't want to enable me, yeah, that she wanted, that there was an opportunity there that she didn't rescue me from, because I didn't need to be rescued, that I think a part of me felt that I did and that if she had, I would have missed that opportunity to just be with oh, I'll hug you. And I was like oh. And then that part of me was like that, finally got to feel like a that even if she had given me a hug wouldn't have gone as deep right and she's not going to be there next time you feel like that and you need a hug, but I will be yeah, I always will be because I expanded my capacity to meet myself there and to be there with myself and to be that for myself that nobody can ever give to me or ever take away.

Andrea: 51:20

But I needed to be in it and trust it, trust myself that I'm enough, that my love and my presence is enough, and so that translates as a healer when you're able to like have that relationship with. Now I'm with my clients and as they're struggling, I don't feel that I need to like be their rescuer, Like a part of me felt that I needed a rescue, right. So it just becomes this real unlearning that you may not notice that you do Like why do I do that? And so it just slows everything down and there's like these little moments that now become memories Like ah, that memory of like reunification with my, my set, my five-year-old self that now feels a deep sense of safety and love in my arms.

Joya: 52:18

That is so beautiful and so powerful and exactly what this work does. That's what liberating your true self is right, that it's like I've got my back, I trust myself. I trust myself not to violate my own boundaries because I don't harm myself.

Andrea: 52:34

Right, I don't put myself in spaces and places that maybe at one point in time I didn't have a choice.

Andrea: 52:42

And now we get to say, like I'm going to, you know, this isn't working and my loyalty is to create, re and keep that safety and love. For that part, that's like shaking, that maybe feels uncomfortable. It's like, well, you know what I, I trust you that that shakiness inside is telling us that this doesn't feel like a really supportive environment, or that they're not really in a space right now to have an open-hearted, vulnerable conversation of curiosity, right. And so we get to like say, you know what, this isn't the right time, and we'll chat about it later, when we're in a good space, that we that there there's a space for that functionality, right, and so, and and so. It's really like connecting, being connected to and and trusting even that fear. Like fear is like maybe Ooh, I remember feeling that way before, that I like stuff down, and now I don't stuff it down anymore. It's like it's wisdom, it's like powerful wisdom in that inner child, like that's letting me know, like ick or yummy.

Joya: 53:53

Yeah, and I feel like the inner child's power is there because of the fact that it's so present with whatever is all the time. Meeting the presence at the present moment with it, with what is, and deciding how to interact with it from a point of view that's not wounded, I feel like, is where that freedom comes from.

Andrea: 54:13

There's a total freedom there, yeah, and to be able to notice like, ooh, there's a wound there, like let me pause and let me not try to heal that wound in this moment with this other unwounded, other wounded per. Like that's not going to heal that wound in this moment, with this other wounded, like that's not gonna create anything. It's like, ooh, okay.

Joya: 54:30

Or.

Andrea: 54:30

I'm in my healed place while somebody else is in their wounded place and I can just be a loving presence to myself and trust that I'll know how to navigate that in real time. That is for the goodness of all parties involved, even if they don't see that as such in that moment. But you're actually ensuring a healthy opportunity space for if and when they're ready for that level of space connection.

Joya: 55:04

Where would you recommend? So last question I know we're. I'm like gosh. I knew this time would go fast and I could talk to you for probably more podcast episodes and there's so many things so deeply. But for people listening who are like, oh my gosh, she's speaking to my heart, she's speaking to me. This is where I'm at, this is what I want to work through. Number one what words of wisdom would you like to share? And then number two if somebody feels like I really need to know this woman, I really want to work with her. Where can they find you? And do you have any juicy freebies or giveaways? Or where can we find your book? All those good things?

Andrea: 55:39

Wonderful. Well, if you like my voice and you like what you're hearing and you would like little, bite-sized tastes that you get to integrate in your day-to-day life, I have a book on Audible called no Longer Burnt Out, I'm Busy. It's designed for a busy person in mind, mindset, trusting yourself, conscious embodiment, practices that are really user-friendly, five minutes a day that really you can incorporate in your life. The other things I have on my website, andreacorellacom. I have three meditations. One is around living free. One is around trusting yourself and liberating yourself. So those are about 10 minutes each. So those are really ways to drop into your core essence and trust yourself and reinforce that new relationship, remembering and reconnecting to that essence of who you are, reconnecting to that essence of who you are, and they help support that. And then, if you're interested in attending my mentorship program, you can head over to my website and send me a message and I can let you know when the next cohort is starting, which is next year. We'll be starting again in end of January, beginning of February 2025.

Joya: 57:01

So this is perfect timing. Yes, yes, yes, and your final words of wisdom for people who are doing this work yeah, um, find your tribe.

Andrea: 57:13

Find a tribe that can uh, see you, um, as you are seeing yourself, connect to your heart, be authentic to who you truly are. Even if it's unpopular and even if somebody doesn't understand, you believe that you are a gift and that you are enough, a precious gift, and to be the. Have the courage to be the full expression of that, so that we have more light in the worlds and more love in the worlds, more freedom in the worlds, real freedom yeah, yeah.

Joya: 57:59

Well, andrea, thank you so much for being here and I'm probably going to have to have you back for a part two, and you know and then also to share with everyone the retreat idea that we are working on together and that is exciting, all these beautiful good things that I'm just so grateful for, so, so, so grateful for, and that, you know, this is when I, when I have friends like you and I have friends like I have, and I have this life that I've really created.

Joya: 58:31

It just makes me so grateful for doing the work and for those times that I was on my knees, sobbing, just letting out the grief, and and and and the real acceptance of I can't change the past. I can only change and and and the real acceptance of I can't change the past. I can only change who I am now and what I'm doing and how I'm showing up, and and when I get to have experiences like this I'm having with you, it just makes me feel so freaking grateful and my, my intention is always just to share. If I can do it, anybody can.

Andrea: 59:02

Yes, yes, yeah, I think that. Yeah, there's a, you know, it's like a butterfly right, like we're a caterpillar, and then we go into, like this liquid, the goo you like, what is that? That mess in the middle kind of trans, transitional, airy phase, you, and it's beautiful to watch, watch you, follow your joy and follow your heart and share your vibration. So thank you for doing that, because that's it's medicine, you know, sharing your medicine in the world and knowing what that is, you know, and sharing your medicine in the world.

Joya: 59:46

Wise woman, wise women unite.

Andrea: 59:48

Thank you Well have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Joya: 59:54

Thank you for listening to we woke up like this. Your likes, comments, shares and subscribes help this content reach new listeners, and I so appreciate you. And remember, luminous one, that your radiant and magnetic presence changes the world.