Speaker 2: 0:06

Today on, we Woke Up Like this. I am joined by Susan Cruz. Susan was caught in the exhaustion cycle of trying to be everything to everyone that so many successful female entrepreneurs experience. Instead of succumbing to it, she made significant lifestyle changes that allowed her to bust the exhaustion cycle, align with her life's purpose and achieve more success, abundance and joy in life. Now she teaches her practices to other successful female entrepreneurs in her programs and retreats, helping them move from exhausted to energized to create a happier, healthier life they love. As the host of the Radiant Soul Sisters podcast and community, she's building an empowering network of women who inspire each other to create a life they love.

Speaker 2: 0:56

Susan's talents and passions extend far beyond the business world. She is a yoga, breathwork and embodiment teacher, a sound practitioner, a writer and a caregiver. When she's not plunging into frozen lakes, burr, I want to know about that. Or adventuring, susan enjoys spending time on the farm with her family. Her zest for life makes her a true inspirational figure to all who know her, and I am so happy to have you on the show and to get to know you even more deeply than I already do in our conversations. So, susan, today we're going to be talking about breaking free from who you were told to be, and in our initial conversation, I know that you loved this topic and this title, so let's dive in. Why is this such an important topic to you?

Speaker 1: 1:50

Well, joya, thank you for having me today. I'm so excited to be here and to chat with you and your listeners, and this really spoke to me and even as you read the topic today, I got goosebumps again. But it spoke to me because for 42, 44 years I lived, trying to be everything to everybody else and was on the go as a matter of fact, my dad would call me go-go and I literally had a breakdown One Thanksgiving. I went to get the leaf out of my table and I crashed and nobody could believe. I fell sound asleep for an hour, like that, you know, and it was because I literally was exhausted.

Speaker 1: 2:29

But I grew up in a family, typical American family of four a son and a daughter, and my dad, being a progressive person, was like Susan, you can be anything you want to be, but you should be a CEO of a big company. You need to do this, you need to do that, you can do this, you can do that. And when it was time to go to college, I wanted to go to the University of Georgia or Carolina, and he was like, nope, you're going to Meredith, which was an all-girls school, and he chose my college for me. Well then, I go to college and I wanted to major in food service management and nutrition. And he's like no, you have to have a business degree.

Speaker 1: 3:13

And this was the way that I was raised, and I think many women our age, joya, were raised that when you go to high school, you graduate from high school, you go to college, you get a job, you work in that job forever and, much to my dad's dissatisfaction, that's not me, and you know, I do know. Let me just say this I know that my dad loved me dearly and always had my best interest in his heart, right, but what he couldn't understand was what was in my heart, what I was being called to do, and so that's where I think a lot of it started. And I also think a lot of it started when I was a child. I became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers when I was 11 years old, once again because my father did not like fat people and I hate saying it that way, but that's what it was and I was chubby. So his thing was you go to Weight Watchers. And so at that very young age I determined my beauty and my worth depended on that number, on the scale.

Speaker 2: 4:28

Wow.

Speaker 1: 4:29

Right. So I was driven by these outside purposes and I met a wonderful man in college that loves me dearly We've been married 40 years and who has truly supported me in becoming who I am and never really trying to make me be what he wanted, other than in one little area. We worked on it, but I was always trying to please, especially my dad. And then, as I became a mother you know I love being a mother, I have four amazing children, but then I was doing for them and going with them and and wanting everything for them and I became exhausted. I was running multiple businesses and when I became exhausted, that's when I opened, when I realized I had to do one thing I had to be still. I had to quit going all the time and doing everything and trying to be somebody else or do something for somebody.

Speaker 1: 5:36

And when I learned to be still, that is when I discovered the things that really made my heart sink. And that was when I discovered who I was and learned how to set some boundaries. I'm still working on that one. Do we ever get it? I don't know. But you know I'm learning to set those boundaries and still working on that. But that's when I really realized what my life purpose was and who Susan Cruz was, what gifts she brings to this world that are here to inspire and encourage others. I have one major job while I'm here on Earth and that is to love, to love others well, and when.

Speaker 1: 6:29

I can love others well. What I always tell my clients is when I can love myself well, I can love others well and for better. I can have more success, joy and abundance in life. And that's really what I learned back when in my 40s, when I had that crash and I learned to be still. It was a rude awakening to realize that number one. I didn't know who I was, but yet I really didn't love myself.

Speaker 1: 7:04

I wasn't taking care of me, and I think you know, we hear, self-care isn't selfish, you know, and you hear that, and it can get cliche, I believe, but it also is the ultimate truth.

Speaker 2: 7:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Right, because if you cannot look yourself in the mirror and say I love you, how can you truly deeply love others?

Speaker 2: 7:30

There's so much to unpack just in everything that you just said. And I'm curious about something too, because I wrote down when you were speaking about your father and the I love you and you can do anything, but here's what you're going to do and it's like it's this high achiever pressure that gets put on some people and I've heard this from other high achieving women too that that that, that that internal drive to want to highly achieve success did not innately come from their own inner drive to succeed in an area of external like you were saying these external validations, right. And then so many people go through life like this where they're like I've done all the things, I've achieved all the things, I have all the things. Why am I so unhappy?

Speaker 1: 8:20

And you just hit the nail on the head happy and you just hit the nail on the head. And so you know. Once again, listeners, I want you to understand. My dad is an incredible person and I do believe he did the absolute, very best that he knew how to do. However, I was taught, trained, believed. Success truly was evaluated with dollars, and that is so far from the truth and you know, it took me a long time. So I actually the very first coach I had was way back when in the nineties, and I told my husband I said I'm going to hire this business coach. And he's like what? I'm like, yeah, I'm going to hire a business coach, and he's like, why? So because it was before coaching was really a thing, and so, anyway, I did and it propelled me to even more success, right, a higher leadership level, more money, etc. Etc.

Speaker 1: 9:21

Well, when I was in my early 40s, right before the crash, believe it or not, I hired a money coach. That was my first reintroduction into the coaching world and the reason that I had hired her was number one. I had what I called random things debt, and it was my debt. It was not my husband's debt, it was not our debt, it was my debt and I thought you know what is my relationship with money, why do I have this? Random things, debt, and what do I do about it.

Speaker 1: 10:02

And so I hired this coach that really helped me peel back layers upon layers about it and once again, like I said, it goes back to childhood.

Speaker 1: 10:13

It goes back to not having everything that everybody had, starting to work when you're 14 years old, which wasn't a bad thing, but also just the way that I thought about the materialism and money and I was able to let go of a lot of that. And then that opened doors to get everywhere and for the longest time, I thought you know, that coach taught me how you do money is how you do everything, but ultimately, I think how you do anything is how you do everything, but ultimately, I think how you do anything is how you do everything. And my parents are still married to this day. Oh wow, yeah, they are. However, it was very shaky and maybe maybe it was, maybe it wasn't the best thing, but it still is. The lessons I learned in that and the things my dad sacrificed there were many times he was not home to be out working, and so I also had that in my head. I would not sacrifice my family to make money.

Speaker 2: 11:17

Oh see, it's so interesting how we start to put all these two and twos together. And I know for me, growing up and I grew up with a single mom we were always broke, but I didn't know it. She's the kind of woman who could stretch a nickel for a month. She's so good with money.

Speaker 2: 11:35

But my and my attitude around money was so hard to break because I would go to mindset money coaches and they'd say it's this and this is like. No, my attitude is I don't need money to be happy, like that was my total attitude about it and my energy around money was oh, I've got this money which I can now spend, and so it was like it was this energy of spending it, spending it, spending it Rather than now. How I am now is I've got this money, how can I use this money smartly, to invest it so that this money can make money? And like it's a different energy that we start to take on around money. It is a deep issue. The topic of money, the topic of sexuality, like those two things run so deep and affect so much of our life.

Speaker 1: 12:22

Absolutely so, joya. The mantra that I am now live by around money that once again makes my heart sing is that the more money I have, the more good I can do in the world. You know I can give and and that makes me happy too right, and I can do things in the world that make a difference in someone else's life. You know it's someone who doesn't have what I have, not for the lack of trying, but maybe for their circumstances or whatever the reason being so. Yes, that was a huge one in learning to become who I am Learning that you know what money is not bad and that you know money does not buy you happiness. You and I are on the same page there. Money does not buy you happiness, but money gives you freedom of with choices Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 13:21

And I had a friend who said I said money doesn't buy you happiness and she said yeah, but I've never seen an unhappy person on a jet ski. So let's go back to the point of the leaf in the table and your, your breakdown of like I'm just going to go sleep, which obviously that was so out of character and not something you would do for it to be such a big aha for you character and not something you would do for it to be such a big aha for you. And then you went to this, this point of stillness, of realizing I need to be still. How did you realize that you needed to be still? What was that? What was that alert for you that that was the answer?

Speaker 1: 13:56

What happened was I was so excited because my whole family was coming home for Thanksgiving and I was going to set the table on Monday night and have everything ready and beautiful. And when I went to get the table, the leaf out of the table, literally when I got flat on the floor I fell sound asleep. And like an hour later Jimmy came looking for me and when I woke up I was like, wow, what just happened? Why did I get horizontal and fall sound asleep that fast? And so then that's when I realized I was exhausted. I was exhausted and, to be really honest with you, joya, it was in a prayer. I'm like you know, it was in a prayer in the bathtub. That's the only place really that I was ever. Still, I take a bath probably too much information, but almost every night I take a bath, a candlelit bath. I have almost my entire adult life, and it was in that bathtub.

Speaker 1: 14:56

I offered this prayer and I'm like God what, what am I doing? Where? What is wrong? What, what do I need to offer or surrender or give to you or whatever? And and I just remember hearing or feeling. You know it's not like I think I heard distinct verbiage, but you know, just hearing. Be still and know I am God. Be still and know. Be still and know I am God. Be still and know. Be still and know I am.

Speaker 1: 15:26

And that was what became my driving Bible verse for the next year, psalms 4610. And in that year of stillness is where so many things came through. Now, interesting fact, in that year of stillness, learning how to meditate because and I had such a false idea of meditation, because you always hear, well, when a thought comes, just let it flow through. How the heck do you do that? You know, I'm like I don't know how to do that. But then someone told me they said, you know, when you have a thought, come to your mind and your meditation say, oh, that's interesting, I'll deal with you later and then come back to your breath. Or, oh, wonder why I thought that. And then come back to your breath.

Speaker 1: 16:15

And so when I really learned that technique and learned how to be still really, you know, that's when I started realizing who I was and really some of the strengths that I do carry or were given to me right, I ran for those a lot, I think, when I was younger, in the ideas of being pushed by outside forces. Then I went to health coaching school and along with health coaching school, I got a plethora of wellness certifications. I mean fitness trainer, pilates, water aerobics, you name it. I probably got it and and I loved it. But here I was coaching women. This is when I started my coaching practice and I coached hundreds of women to lose thousands of pounds, and some of them have still kept it off. But the problem was I was going back to my old beliefs. I was working on that body image for all these people image.

Speaker 1: 17:27

For all these people, and even my own, it was external. There was something still missing, and it was when I found yoga and I really learned how to practice yoga, which took me a long time. It wasn't like I stepped on a yoga mat and was like oh, this is bliss, yeah, yeah no, I stepped on a yoga mat and was like oh, this is bliss.

Speaker 1: 17:45

That's an epiphany. Yeah, yeah, no, I stepped on a yoga mat and was looking around like, oh, my warrior doesn't look like that one. Oh, why can't I do a handstand? You know, I was still in that judgment comparison space and so it took. You know, it took me a while to really learn that when I stepped on my yoga mat, then that's where I could release and let go and surrender and did some even more deeper inner work. So that's really how it all started, and I do believe it's in that stillness that you find your magic.

Speaker 2: 18:23

I agree, I love that In the stillness you find your magic. I agree, I love that in the stillness you find your magic. And in that space I'm curious how overachieving Susan met with Susan on the mat and did you bring any of that self with you into this new self that you've become, or the true self? Do you feel like you've become a new self or do you feel like you've become more of who you actually are? What is it like for you?

Speaker 1: 18:46

I would say both yes, I am new in that I am now aligned with my life purpose and the reason that I'm here and I am able to give and shine my light on others. It took me a long time. Letting go of judgment and comparison of others was the easier part. Letting go of judgment of myself was the hard part.

Speaker 2: 19:20

Yep, I would say that for me that was definitely true also, and also for forgiveness. I'm so forgiving and compassionate and seeing have this ability to be curious about their life story or what led them to get to be this way and then have profound compassion for it. Versus myself, I was like you are such a dumbass and like the voice in my head was horrible, so I still relate to that.

Speaker 1: 19:49

Yep, and you know so I did some things that that may seem simplistic or ritual but actually were very empowering to me. So one of the very first things I did was I wrote a letter to my dad and this was right at the beginning of his Alzheimer's journey and we're in year 10 of that but the letter forgave him for it. I ultimately forgave him for his taking on his beliefs of body image and fat people and what you were supposed to look like to be beautiful or successful. But when I was able to forgive him, like ultimately acknowledge that then I also in that letter said and I want you to know, I forgive myself for treating myself the way that I did, you know, for under eating and over exercising or over eating and under exercising because I rode that diet roller coaster right.

Speaker 1: 20:54

I would go in and out and I've never been obese. I might carry extra weight but never have been obese it was beautiful. I burned it. I burned the letter.

Speaker 2: 21:05

Didn't even send it to him.

Speaker 1: 21:06

No, because what a what good would it have been done? Yeah, it wasn't about him.

Speaker 2: 21:12

Right.

Speaker 1: 21:13

About me, it was about my heart, it's about my heart and I think that forgiveness is so huge For you got to find if there's anything that you need to forgive yourself for tucked down in that heart. You have to figure out how to peel that layer away and you know I've made mistakes, oh, I've done things I am not proud of.

Speaker 2: 21:38

However, no-transcript, like it's. So that and you know and I also cut out for a long time, I actually, because I've also had struggles with food and eating and I remember seeing an ad in a magazine. It just made me so mad and it was a picture of two cookies and it said it's been a hard day Make it a double. And it was a picture of two cookies and it said it's been a hard day make it a double. And I was like you know what this is? This is the message right here that we can just distract ourselves and numb ourselves and change our chemical state inside of ourselves by something from outside of ourselves to make us feel better. But it's just putting this temporary bandaid on a part of you. That is really going help. I'm here, hi. Help, help. I'm here, yep exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1: 22:47

So. So, yeah, I and and those were things that I had to let go of to be able to be the real me right false identities and and yeah, and then, and then, and once again it comes back. So, for example, like I said, my dad is in year 10 of Alzheimer's. My mom is in year one and a half.

Speaker 2: 23:06

Oh, wow.

Speaker 1: 23:07

Yeah, I've got both parents with Alzheimer's, so there's that double threat is what I call it. I come home and like, like the other night, my mom was really having a bad day, couldn't remember anything, and then I get a call from my dad's nurse and I was just like. I looked at Jimmy and I'm like, oh you know, and I told him. I said if I was still drinking, this would be one of those nights I'd be reaching for those beers, because I really just need to get away. Right, I just need and that's what we're taught, you know just have a couple, couple beers and relax or drink or whatever and relax.

Speaker 1: 23:42

But that's not what I needed. What I really needed was to feel the pain right now. You know, I looked at Jimmy, I said this hurts, this stinks. You know, I'm watching this over and over again. And I said and I'm reliving exactly what I went through with my dad, with my mom, and you know, and he's really great, like he just he listens and he's like, well, what can I do for you? And I'm like, no, nothing, I just need to be quiet right now. And so then that's my retreat was my bathtub.

Speaker 2: 24:14

Perfect. What a beautiful way of self-caring. Going to take some self-care like authentic self-care that you know you love.

Speaker 1: 24:21

I think those are the important things and once again it goes back. I think that's to where you can be still and you don't. I believe in God, that's me, that's who I believe in and I believe in Jesus. All that right, but you don't have to be able to be still and discover who you are, because when you're quiet, you can ask yourself what is my next best step, or who, who do I need to see that I can support, or can love me and support me in this moment, and that's that's where I just think. For me, that was the key.

Speaker 2: 25:06

Do you find that you know breaking you've definitely broken free of who you were told to be and who was ingrained in you to be, to be this woman that you are today, and do you find now that you have a solid sense of this is who I am, or do you feel like you are in a state of constantly becoming?

Speaker 1: 25:27

I don't know that. I would say in a state of constantly becoming. I would say I am in tune to knowing if there's something that needs changing or something that's going to change. I would say this change is the only thing that's been consistent in my life.

Speaker 2: 25:50

Wow, me too.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Right. So I think I'm always changing or becoming, and I think that's the key, key learning when to let go of something that, even if you love it dearly, like when when my yoga studio caught kovat and it was like, are you gonna come back and open another studio after kovat? And then I think I told you I had a one of my students open a studio and she's like let's be be partners. You know what I love, that there's nothing I love more than teaching, and I love teaching beginners because I like to see people catch it or understand it or know how to learn to move their body without a mirror or without judgment.

Speaker 1: 26:38

Right, I love all that. But if I am tending to the brick and mortar, then I am not able to tend to the people. I want to call them the people or the sheep or whomever God has there for me, because I'm putting all my energy into this, and that was, that was a hard lesson, and my husband tells me this all the time Susan, pick your one or two big things and stick to them and then and and let those be your boundaries to say no, and let those be your boundaries to say no, and that that has been an eye opening.

Speaker 2: 27:28

And that takes time, but that also allows change to keep coming. I love that and I'm sorry. Go ahead. What did you say?

Speaker 1: 27:34

Just be open to what I'm supposed to be doing.

Speaker 2: 27:37

Yeah, and you hit something so important in there and it was like you said. I feel it inside of me, I know when it's time to make a change and I feel like that for me. Right there you nailed the whole point of this whole work of embodiment, the whole work of being present, the whole work of being with what is, even when it sucks, that you don't go distract yourself from it and change. Your state is so you can develop that inner, innate intelligence that the creator wired us with to know and to listen. And unless we can become still enough to know and to trust that feeling and I feel like for me and maybe it's true for you too, having been guided down this path of high achieving success be a CEO, be this, be that, be perfect that when I was able to stop and feel in there that the first time I trusted it and listened to it and said yes to that inside of me, that was probably one of those terrifying moments of my life.

Speaker 2: 28:40

I felt like I was stepping outside of my house naked, walking down the street for everyone to see my, my rolls and my dimples and everything like here.

Speaker 1: 28:47

it is Like that's how it felt, yeah, it does, and you know and I think we touched on this a tad when when you and I were talking before but you know, another big thing is that it it had to be a realization for me that it's okay that mine and Jimmy's path are very different and I can see things in one way and do and be, and it's okay for him to not understand me.

Speaker 1: 29:20

Yes In that essence, you know. Sometimes he looks at me like I have two heads and I'm like, okay, but that's okay. You look at me, you know what I'm saying and he tries but not to force my path on him.

Speaker 2: 29:37

That is so cute and how long have you been married? You said 40 years. 40 years, yeah, and I've. I'm on my second marriage and I've been married 13 years. We just celebrated our 13th year and so I I told him, I said, oh, we're entering our second ending with each other. Right now we're coming like this year, 2025, like, oh, we're entering our second ending with each other, knowing that every seven years there's a cycle. And I would agree with that, susan. I feel like for me, that was such a huge letting go of. You know, my husband's an engineer. He's very practical, he's very black and white, he's very down to earth, he's very he's a Capricorn also. So it was very much like get things done, logical, make sense, but he gives me the grace of being who I am, so I can at least give him the grace of being who he is. Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, and that that makes a happy marriage.

Speaker 1: 30:30

Exactly, exactly, you know. I'll just say, like one thing like we, we love on hot summer days, we have a gorgeous deck with beautiful sunsets, and we would love we would sit out there and drink beer. You know, while we still go out there and you know what, he still has his beer and I have my drink, whatever and we enjoy that beautiful sunset and we have a gorgeous night and it's like hey, you do you and I'll do me, and together we're here enjoying this beauty. So I think that's another awakening, or another realization that I was able to really let go of comparison and judgment, when I was able to just still say you know what, this is the man I love and this is the man that loves me dearly, and it's okay for us to grow in our own ways.

Speaker 2: 31:25

Yeah, and I feel like I don't need you anymore to validate my okayness, which that was a lot to put on my spouse.

Speaker 1: 31:33

When we got married at 22 years old, I was this young woman who needed to be needed, needed to be needed and I married this wonderful Southern gentleman that wanted somebody to take care of him like his mother, this beautiful Southern woman, did, and that was where the tension I think I mentioned the one that was where some of the tension was because he married this city girl that had been driven to be. And then he, he's this country guy, that this farmer that wanted the typical southern wife. And nobody ever really taught us how to talk that stuff out before we got married.

Speaker 2: 32:18

Oh, wow.

Speaker 1: 32:19

You know so. So that has um for years. That was a attention point for us, and now we both have come to understand each other better and to know what makes each other tick, and that you know what. I am happy if you'll just put your plates in the dishwasher.

Speaker 2: 32:42

It's the little things yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:43

But it makes a huge difference.

Speaker 2: 32:45

Right.

Speaker 1: 32:46

In my life. Yeah, you know. Yeah so anyway, but I do think when you learn who you are and you realize you're not the person that you've been portraying, there's lots of obstacles or a lot of things that can come into your way, that can set you back, and you've got to be willing to communicate and talk them through, whether it's with your spouse or your friends.

Speaker 2: 33:15

I'm just sitting here thinking about you know, it's really interesting going back to that space of self-trust that we so often and I work with clients who go through this struggle too and I'm like, oh, I'm so intimately aware of this struggle, this inner battle, and I'm like, oh, it's like me versus me in the ring, where I know there's a change. Something I'm doing needs to be changed. It wants to be let go of because it's no longer serving me. But this part of me really enjoys it, or I wouldn't be doing it in the first place, right? So it's like that to me is the ultimate inner battle of self-awareness. Yes, I want to know from you like, stepping in that that self that wants you to change is your true self, your deeper self, the part of you that's growing into a new self, that's wanting you to expand. How do you find the courage or how do you find the thing, whatever it is for you, that helps you finally take that leap, that helps you to get through that sticky point?

Speaker 1: 34:20

Yeah, I like to use the words. Let's play so you know. For example, yeah, when something big comes up and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1: 34:30

I can't do that, or that's not me, or whatever. Then I'll ask myself but what would happen if you played? What would happen if you played? So let's play. Let's play and see what it's about and then discern is this the real next step or no, it's the wrong one, and if it's the wrong one, fall back and regroup. But I like putting things into the term of let's play because I think as we become adults, we're not expected to play. Yeah, you know, but play is fun, play is educational. Think about it. How do children learn?

Speaker 2: 35:20

Right, animals too. It's like you watch them. They learn through play. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:26

And so why can't I play as an adult?

Speaker 2: 35:33

And that's exactly how I did it with quitting drinking finally, which today is day 212. I'm like, oh, I'm coming up on a year. I'm like I keep looking at it. I'm like I'm coming up on a year, it's coming, yeah. And for me it was like, okay, this is really bothering me. I don't know.

Speaker 2: 35:51

And this is where, like the what I don't know and I acknowledge what I don't know, I'm like I don't know if this is just self-judgment, I don't know if this is just me giving myself a hard time, because in my world everybody's doing this, right, with the quotations around the everybody, because that's who I'm surrounding myself with. And so I said let's just play a game, like what? Let's just stop for a year. Actually, I said six months, like let me just stop for six months and see how life gets, and if life improves, and if I, if I change inside of me, if I feel differently, if something moves, then I know this was the right decision.

Speaker 2: 36:26

If nothing moves and I and I realized I was just in self judgment then I can always just go back to drinking. It's not the end of the world, right, so. So it's kind of like that, bringing that attitude of it's not forever. And I have people who will ask me that friends who've known me for a long time that'll say, oh, are you just not going to drink ever again? And I always say I don't know what I'm going to be doing forever. But I know that today I'm not that's, I know that. So it's really just keeping it that simple for me in the process of change.

Speaker 1: 36:58

And actually this is what I was telling another friend who actually her 365th day was yesterday, Awesome, yeah. And she's like so I really feel free that I can say I don't drink. And she said, you know, but I think there's times I might have a celebratory drink or that glass of champagne or whatever. And I said, well, you know, here's, here's the way I view it. That's why I say I mostly don't drink, because I choose. I like the conscious decision when we're having a, a celebratory meal, not every time. Sometimes I choose to have that one glass of wine with that meal and I enjoy it and it's the flavors that I'm enjoying.

Speaker 1: 37:48

It's not the mindless drinking a couple of beers while watching a sunset right no, it's the choice in there, and so I think that that's one area that drives me or helps me understand conscious choices.

Speaker 2: 38:09

Where our power is right, Right yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:12

Conscious choices. And then the other thing that I asked myself. I asked myself the same question when I chose to go alcohol free. I'm like you know what will happen with a year and I gave it to myself as a birthday present. This was my birthday present Me, to me. What would happen in a year? What could I do with the time or the energy, you know? And I was really surprised because in some areas, I learned to create instead of consume.

Speaker 2: 38:44

Yes.

Speaker 1: 38:45

I think that's huge.

Speaker 2: 38:47

Yeah, that is really huge and it I think it's so much a part of.

Speaker 2: 38:52

I mean and we're not slamming alcohol by any stretch of the imagination but for me it was a limiter in my life because I was using it to escape and numb from things that I didn't deal with. And since I stopped I've been able to go way deeper into those parts of me and I always say they're not parts of me that I need to change, they're not parts of me that I need to judge or condemn anymore or ignore or mute or numb or any of those things. But now they're parts of me that just sometimes want to bubble up and cry for no reason. It's just the energy that's stuck and stored in my body from past traumatic experiences. And instead of running from that feeling, I now know how to turn toward it and for me I feel like that's such a gift of stepping into who we truly are is to love all of us where we're at, with all of our human messiness everything with all the messiness, I want to say one thing about crying.

Speaker 1: 39:52

You know, before before we close, you mentioned crying because I am a crier. I have been my whole life and I'm going back to my wonderful dad that hated crying and would look at me whenever I would cry and would say the only time you cry is when a baby dies. That's how I was raised, so I had to learn how to suppress.

Speaker 1: 40:13

Yes, I had to learn to suppress those tears. I mean, I was raised in this time where you just swept everything under the rug For an Enneagram 2, that was the perfect life, because I really became the queen of deceit. I'm not going to lie to you, but I'm just not going to tell you so for me that was like the perfect life. While crying, I interviewed our friend, betsy Clark, and her daughter has the best saying. She is a nurse and she says whenever you're struggling, come to the water, which is one of my most gorgeous hymns and I'm like well, betsy, tell me more. Come to the water. Maybe the water is tears. Maybe the water is a hot cup of water, maybe I mean hot cup of tea. Maybe the water is a bath or a shower, maybe it's going to the lake or the ocean, but whenever, come to the water. So sometimes those tears are the water we need.

Speaker 2: 41:21

Oh, wow, isn't that a beautiful thing. That's so beautiful. And betsy is on the podcast right before yours. You're at your, your episode, so everybody, that's so beautiful. And I, you know, I love.

Speaker 2: 41:32

I used to not like crying or I would do it in private because I just saw it as a well, with the way I grew up, it was you don't show your underbelly, you don't be weak, you know it's like, yeah, I have this very tough gruff, I don't care exterior, and that was my energy, was, I don't care. And I remember my husband when we were married for probably a couple of years. I remember we were in an argument and he said I'm just wondering if you're ever going to unpack the invisible suitcase you keep by the door, and like he sensed that I would just up and leave without batting an eyelash and leave all my stuff behind and just go. And I've done that before it because in me, like the fight, flight or freeze, I'm a run for the hills kind of person, I'm like, and so it's like we all have these ways of knowing, and so for me, drinking is running, not crying was running.

Speaker 2: 42:23

And so I remember the first time just sitting and crying, and I was with a woman, thank goodness, who was very wise, and she just put her arm around me. Well, she asked if she could say Can I put my arm around you? And I said, of course. And then I was starting to wipe stop crying. And she said keep crying. She said every teardrop thaws out the ice around your heart.

Speaker 1: 42:44

That's another one to remember.

Speaker 2: 42:47

Yeah, the power of the water. So, oh my gosh, okay. So last question I want to ask you before we go, and then, of course, where people can find you and all that good stuff. But it sounds to me, and it feels to me, that you, susan Cruz today, loves Susan Cruz today. So what do you, what do you love about?

Speaker 1: 43:14

yourself, I want you to, and my heart and you know, yeah, I truly, and it's hard, hard to say this, but I truly love people and I can sense intuitively if you have a struggle or you just need someone to look you in the eyes and say, hello, beautiful, or are you okay today, right now, and I love that about me.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Oh, it makes you a beautiful coach to be able to look into someone's soul and heart through your soul and heart.

Speaker 1: 43:54

Yeah, and I have not always acknowledged that. I've run from that for many years.

Speaker 2: 44:00

So beautiful. Well, you do have beautiful eyes, because they are the windows to your soul and I can see you're right in there. So, susan, where can people find you? Do you have any kind of books or special offers or anything that you want to share?

Speaker 1: 44:16

Well, you can find me on all the socials, at Susan Cruz Co or the Radiant Soul Sisters, and I would love to have any of the listeners join me in the Radiant Soul Sisters group, which is a Facebook group right now, and then also you can jump over to my website, susancruzkocom, and you can grab the seven secrets to breaking free, and there's some more great stuff coming. The website is going to be relaunched right after the first of the year, so hang in and join me there.

Speaker 2: 44:47

Oh, so perfect. I am so grateful that you said yes to this and we're kicking off this year with these discussions around liberating your true self, and I just feel like it's the work of 2025. It's the work going forward, embodying what we know, embodying our wisdom, embodying our intuition, trusting ourself, creating these boundaries and I loved what you said earlier and I really want to re-highlight that point and I might find it and just edit and clip it in here right now, because you said something so important and the way that I heard it was to frame your boundaries around your passions.

Speaker 1: 45:25

The things that bring joy to your life, you know.

Speaker 2: 45:29

Makes everything else an easy.

Speaker 1: 45:30

no, Really it does, and for people who struggle with boundaries, that's your ticket.

Speaker 2: 45:37

Magic, magic, magic. That's really powerful right there. Well, I will have all of the links for Susan's website her socials down below the show notes. So please go take a look, follow her, look her up, say hello and, of course, as always, if you liked this show, don't forget to like and subscribe and share it with your friends. Susan, thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 1: 45:59

Thank you. What a pleasure and a way to kick off 2025.

Speaker 2: 46:03

Happy New Year.

Speaker 1: 46:04

Happy New Year. See you soon, all right.